This is gonna be a quickie here today. I don't have time to go on and on like you wish I would. I don't have time to tell you everything my children have said, eaten and worn since the last post like you've been waiting for, I'm sorry for disappointing the masses. So lemme get right down to it. This post is about to get real TMI. No, it's not. I'm not gonna do that to you. Okay I might have to, but I'm gonna try not to be graphic. But at the same time, we're all human, right? Or are we dancers? A strange stomach bug snuck into our home and matter that simply should not be emerging from the mouth has been spewed in every direction onto walls and carpets and into hair and up onto the mantel and onto the rooftops around our neighborhood. And other matter (which shall remain unnamed) has also been shot into all such directions, mercilessly. It's been strange indeed, because these occurrences take place in the middle of the night and then all is cheery during the day (like- my kids act totally totally normal by day-just long enough to settle this mother into a false sense of security until the sun sets and the full moon shines down into our windows and the fangs emerge and howling begins again). The main point is- it's caught up with my baby Isla.
My little tiny still-crawling diaper wearin' itty baby. She's been throwing up all night while I've been trying to help (force) her little face in the direction of a pitcher (it's gotta have a handle so as to be maneuvered single handedly) so I could catch a portion of it but I think she suspects the pitcher to be the source of her discomfort, because meanwhile she has been angrily shoving it out of her face with all the strength her little frame could muster. And I just got into the tub with her because we were both covered in throw up and with me in the tub... she did the unspeakable. The other kind of unspeakable. So I want you to imagine yourself after having been up all night long, getting into a warm bath for some refuge only to have a little person use it as a toilet. I know you read this already but you're not reacting appropriately... so maybe you're not quite understanding that I said
I WAS IN THE TUB WITH HER!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Babies getting the stomach flu? Like, not just kids... which is devastating enough... but actual BABIES? It should be completely illegal. This stuff will be outlawed in the next life when I'm in charge, I'm gonna make sure of it. Like the immortal children Stephenie Meyer came up with. Baby vampires? That crap just ain't right. Can't happen. Can't allow it. No can do. Ain't gonna happen. Ain't gonna be pretty. Wouldn't be prudent. Basically the same thing here. (Jason thinks I always stretch it waaaaay too far with my analogies, but I think in this case I really hit the nail on the head as far as blatantly logical analogies go.) Also, that reminds me... in the next life, maybe I'll have hair like this, minus sideburns. That is some soft and shiny pantene hair.
Alright, back on track. This is all leading me to my next topic of discussions: boils. You know, the kind people get all over their bodies. After we talk about the cause and treatment of boils, we're gonna talk about goiters. Just kidding. I just wanted to make you think things were gonna get even more disgusting than they've already been over here. Actually what I do wanna talk about is a major pitfall in marriage. And one I think a lot of us are continually fighting. The "who has it worse" game. Probably one of the most destructive traps a couple can fall into is this sick kind of competition, when they're trying to one-up the other, trying to prove they are the one who has the hardest job. For example, I just came down covered in vomit and woke Jason up (6:30 AM) so he could help undress Isla and so I could pee and draw a bath (heaven forbid I ask to use the restroom in my house). But his state was way less than chipper. And I was going on and on about how poor Isla been throwing up all night and aiming for outside of any receptacle (aiming mostly for me) when I noticed his eyes crossing. I interrupt myself with, What's wrong with you? and he says, I just didn't sleep very well. I've got a lot on my mind.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. I just can't hear those words right now. I. JUST. CAN'T.
His career is supremely demanding and stressful. And the past few months have been the most hellish on him in history. And he's in the bishopric. The boy is spent. all the time. And a good portion of the time I'm a peppy little wife in an apron and a ribbon in my hair offering to massage his back. But I don't have the brain capacity to think about it or give any support after a night like last night. So how do you get out of that rut? How do you avoid the back and forth when he comes home from a long day of work, you think you've got it rough??? I'm bathing in fecal matter!!! and You think you're tired?!? I had to do a presentation that lasted 4 solid hours today and then immediately went into back to back meetings and didn't even have time for lunch! and then back to, You think you've got it rough??? I'm bathing in fecal matter!!! I understand it comes from self-centeredness. And both parties have to find a way to see outside of themselves and find empathy for the other person. And you depend on the Lord to strengthen you and give you capacity way beyond yourselves. But mostly, both parties have to find a way to come to their senses and agree that I have the harder job. And that I in fact, win the "most exhausted" prize. But then what'll really chap you (if you're me) is that the victory means nothing, and actually, this particular victory means you are (I am) in fact losing. And then you'll be mad for working so hard to earn the "victory". No satisfaction at all. Even if he ever admitted to it. Nothing would change. And it's not like the purpose of this whole thing was to necessarily change anything anyway- so you sit and wonder what it was all for. You've found yourself in quite a little quandary now haven't you? Yes you have. Haven't we all.
The good and unrelated news is, I can hear birds chirping outside my window. And while my trees are still naked, I have a feeling they are mulling around the idea of adorning themselves shortly. Luff to all.
