This is therapeutic for me. So just let me.

I'm sorry. I am not an angry person. Really if you know me, you know I'm no rageaholic. I'm generally pretty chipper about life in general. I feel like I'm fairly level-headed. But this little blurb on babycenter the other day chapped me so bad. Chapped me red and raw. Think baboon's rear end= my face. Before I go into it, if you are a champion weight lifter/marathon runner and continue being so every day through your nausea-ridden stages of early pregnancy, turn away now. This is no place for you. Ahem.

You are one of the biggest creeps I've ever seen, Karyne.

Anyway, blurb reads as follows:

"Plan your workouts for the time of day when you feel most energetic – and when you're most likely to have free time. Some research has shown that you're more likely to stick to your exercise program if you do it in the morning. Early morning workouts also help you avoid extra showers. You can just pop out of bed, have a bite to eat, put on your workout wear, and go. When you're finished, you take a shower and start your day!"

Is it just that easy for us, ladies!?! So silly of me!! I just never knew it could be that easy!! Excuse me Dr. Whoever the hell you think you are. Have you ever been pregnant yourself? Have you ever been pregnant while still having to tend to other small children? One of whom only has incisors so throwing her a chicken leg is not an option? But also cutting molars as we speak so is waking up lots at night? And you're panicked trying to shove saw-dust crackers in your face before your husband brings her back to you because you might heave any moment? Have you ever been in the early stages of pregnancy when you've had to wake up in the night to calm her older sister from a nightmare? And try to convince her that spiders aren't crawling all over her? Or that the "mean bad wolf" is not in reality going to get her?? And then her crying also wakes up her little sister who has already been up once in the night? Have you been pregnant while having mini people crawl into bed with you before the sun rises? Jumping on or throwing an elbow square into your boob or full bladder? And again you're stuffing your cotton mouth with the same saw-dust crackers that you had to 3 hours previous?

{I hate saltines.}

"The time of day when I have the most energy" is reserved for changing dirty diapers, and starting another Disney princess movie. And making a grilled cheese sandwich or two.

The rest of the day I am laying spread eagle flat on my face on my carpet.

"Free time"? Are you serious? I can't even remember what this expression means. And my head might explode if I try.

"Pop" out of bed?? Really??? Have you ever seen any Pregnant woman pop up for anything except the toilet or an ice-cream sandwich? The only thing popping right now are the buttons off my pants. And it's too early for that but happening either way.

Who exactly is this tidbit of advice intended for?? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to anyone who has children? There are so many things wrong with this advice that it is laughable. And, you're making overwhelmed, nauseated pregnant women feel even more inadequate and loserish than they already do.

Seriously. I can't handle anyone telling me I need to be in the gym right now. Or telling me what I need to be eating to keep my figure. Or what to do in the future to lose the baby weight fastest. When I want to hear about that, I'll come find you. I also can't handle FB status updates about working out right now. Just got a sick ab workout in, 500 crunches! Can't believe how defined and toned my bod's getting! Tomorrow it's back to lunges and squats, feeling on top of the world!" Ugh I will throw up right now.

I also can't handle any insinuation that every nook and cranny of my house is not spotless at all times. Jason came home the other day and while trying to put away groceries in the fridge, said, "this fridge is ridiculous." And I unloaded a few rounds of rapid fire machine gun verbal assaults on him about him having a superiority complex and thinking he thinks he's the only one in the house with any kind of standard for cleanliness and that maybe he thinks things are not in tip top shape just because I'm feeling lazy and would rather watch reality TV and telling him he's delusional. And then crying later and apologizing for my "taking of crazy pills".

I know I've used this picture before, but I'm using it again. I just like her a lot and feel like I should be friends with her. I can't wait for this first stage to pass. And while I understand if you are a member of my household, you might feel that you're really the one who can't wait for this part to pass, maybe you feel like you're the one doing the suffering. Please don't even hint at that. If you'd prefer that your privates stay in-tact. I'm not even trying to be funny. In fact I may or not have been ugly-face crying the whole time I've been typing this up.

Multiplyin' and replenishin'. One by one.

Well, we were gonna wait to tell. But after telling both sides of the family and after Jason told his office, news has already spread pretty fast. So maybe you know this news anyway, so it's old news to you. And while we are still in the first trimester and not yet in the "safe zone" (past 12 weeks), I feel like complete crap pretty much 24-7. Who came up with the rule that it would be best to wait to tell anyone 'til you're out of the first tri and when you're feeling much better and on top of things? When you're sick and weary is when you really need to tell people. It was a man who made that rule.

So we are expecting baby numero tres. There. I said it!

Here's a shot of Jason shortly after Scarlett delivered that little white box with the news inside. Totally candid shot. He didn't even see me standing two feet right in front of him with our big camera. Look at what a happy and proud chap he is. Pure elation on that face. And in that fist pump.

And here below is another shot. Something from a horror movie. This is a choose-your-own-adventure story. You decide what his true reaction was.

We are happy. Grateful. And excited. Those feelings come from the long-suffering, eternal-perspective side of me; the person I wish I could be at all times. Because in reality I do want more babies. I want a big family. And envisioning another one of my newbies makes me feel all gooey inside. And then there's the here-and-now part of me who feels nothing but total fatigue and nausea, impatience and irritation with everything in the world around me. Thank goodness for us all, I'm mostly made up of that first version of myself. Phew!

*Truth be told we were planning to start "trying" this December/Januaryish. But turns out, mother nature works the same whether you are "trying" or not. So we were surprised to find out even though I guess we sortof shouldn't have been. I will say that Jason is feeling more smug and manly than ever. And this baby's coming in May! The little peanut didn't want to miss out on all the summer festivities. Can't say I blame her. Him. Or whatev.*

Early pregnancy works wonders for a marriage. Like, for example, I made him take me home the other night at halftime from the BYU football game directly after watching him hoover a brat-tail (A bratworst sopped in mustard and ketchup inside a maplebar donut instead of a regular hot dog bun). I just couldn't take anymore hubby-wife time after that. I think the first real evidence that this thing is for real was a few weeks ago on my birthday. We were at brunch. A fancy, delicious brunch with everything on earth you can imagine. And I was making the rounds, trying to decide on where I wanted to start. Then suddenly I started feeling nauseated just looking at the food. And nothing looked good to me. Everything made me want to hurl. And then Jason and I reunited at our table, after our rounds, and he had a plate of tortellini. Tortellini I somehow had missed. My mouth started to water, and I knew that was the ticket. I had to have that tortellini in mah belleh right then and there. So naturally, I asked him for a bite. And by "a bite", of course I meant, "the plate". Except that on my third bite, he gave his pregnant wife the death glare and said, uhhh.... get your own plate of it. On her birthday. True story folks. I hate to say it. He was starving. And he is NOT his best self when he's hungry. It's embarrassing how much we've had this argument about sharing food.

A meltdown ensued. Immediately. Lots of ugly-faced crying. Great heaving sobs. And there was lots of hugs and, "I'm sorry baby... I didn't mean it... I love your fingerpaintins'..." on his part. Except that I knew that he meant it. I knew that my eating off of his plate was really chapping him. Even under the circumstances. So I couldn't forgive him for quite some time. Two days later:

Lucy has also been kind enough to tell me, every. single. day. while plunging her little hands all around my mid-section (emerging gut and love handles), that the baby is getting bigger mommy! It's getting SO big!! Your tummy is growing so big! What a dear heart. The baby is now about the size of kidney bean so obviously my stomach should be getting bigger silly! My advice is not to tell your 3 year old you are pregnant until a little later on. Because also, every single day since, she has asked me if the baby is ready to come out yet, and tells me to, Push her out mommy! Push her out! She's really excited. Might be the one who displays the most unrestrained pure joy over the news as of late.

We flat-ironed her hair the other day and she was more than fond of herself. Gazed like this for at least 15 minutes.

I've been feeling extra tender and crushy towards Scarlett lately. Because SHE IS MY BABY. And there's always a slight sense of betrayal at first. It's not as bad this time around as it was the first, but it's still there. And I still cry about it.

One of my favorite things that Scarlett does as of late is she puts her own shoes on. On the wrong foot. And it's usually one of her shoes and one of Lucy's. It's really flattering.

The good news is, my girls are busy as usual, and I'm happy to report this weird thing that mom is going through isn't dampening their moods nor slowing them down a single ounce. There are still princess bombing zones about every 3rd step in our house, so it sure is a relief for me. I wouldn't wanna have less to clean up after.

And I'm also happy to report that it's making Jason appreciate my chipper moments more than ever. Actually, not just my chipper moments... but just personal hygiene in general. I showered once last week I think, and got right back into pajamas afterward, and he came home from work, looked at me and while doing a little eyebrow shimmy said, "Well, well, well... don't you look nice." Poor chap. Feel bad for him. But not really. Who am I kidding?

Seriously though, I want you to know that bringing babies into the world is by far the best and most thrilling thing I've had the privilege to do in my whole life. I don't want the Lord to think I'm an ingrate. So keep 'em coming, Father in Heaven. Watching them grow into the little people that hug on my legs and laugh at me and kiss my face and pull my hair has truly been something wondrous. It is surreal to know that no matter how many times you do this, every child is a completely unique individual. With a different combination of strengths and talents and challenges to face than anyone who's ever lived on earth before. And physically, hubby and I get to see a different rendition of our genetic recipe every single time. It's pretty mind-blowing. And humbling. And exhilarating.

Here's to our soon-to-be family of 5! Cheers!

The latest.

Alright, I'm afraid I can't even tell you what we've been up to lately before I get some things off my chest. My last couple experiences at the grocery store have left me completely chapped and I'm dying to tell you why. More importantly though, I know you're absolutely dying to know. And I give the people what they ask for. Mostly. I won't pose for risque pics though. Just kidding. I mean I'm not just kidding about that. I really won't. You know what I mean.

There are 24 check-out lanes at Target. Twenty- four! And when I was there this morning, there were TWO lanes open. And there were long lines at each one. This totally infuriates me every single time I go. That's 8.3 percent of the lanes available for customers. What's the point?! Why didn't you make the stupid Target with as many lanes as you plan on having open? And there were Target employees mullin' around and shootin' the shiz with each other. Straightening displays and talking about their weekend and crap. And I glared at them. And they didn't care. They were thinking, What's that deranged mom looking at? Creepy. Is that her kid who keeps screech-screaming tarodactyl style? Oh well. And every time Scarlett would scream tarodactl style, the girl in front of me in line would startle and jerk her head around to see if it was coming from the same place as last time it happened. Yeah that's right... still her, the 3rd time you've looked. And then I always plan on givin' a little piece of my mind to the person at the register and then she's always so nice. So I can't do it. If I ever go grocery shopping, to Target or Wal-mart or wherever, and even half the check-out lanes are open for business, I will shed a tear of joy right then and there.

-Speaking of checking out, exactly how long is an acceptable amount of time to wait in line behind a couponer? Because I waited the other day at Maceys for a solid 15 minutes. Not 15 minutes total. 15 minutes after this young couples' food had been checked through. 15 solid minutes of standing there sorting through a huge stack of coupons for 7 cents off per item. When does it become appropriate to clear all of their crap out of the way and say, I'm sorry, you've exceeded your time limit and broken the grocer's code... it's my turn now. And she kept leaning over thanking me for being SOOO patient! And I was all, "Oh! No prob!" (big smile, wink wink, hi-five, chest bump). But what she didn't know was that I was actually boiling inside. And I almost insisted on paying for their entire grocery bill if she'd just put the coupons away.

Now listen. Don't get me wrong and don't go gettin' all judgy on me. Because I love a good coupon. And I am all about saving money. I just bought a pair of Guess leopard print heals at a thrift store in Seattle for $3. THREE DOLLARS!! (The price on them said $11.99 but when I took them to the register, the blessed man informed me that they were on the 75% off rack. And the emotion of it all nearly had me starting to convulse on the spot.) So I'm not against coupons and savings in general, people. I am very pro-savings. I AM however against the people who have a stack of coupons so large that they can't even put them in their purse or wallet, so they just have to tote the monstrous stack around in one hand with them everywhere they go. What if I needed a hand with something? What if I needed some help? And then I'd look up in desperation and they'd just say, Sorry, I can't help you. I got these coupons I'm holding. I'm especially against these individuals when they're in front of me in line.

Phew. I feel much better. I hope you don't leave a comment and say something like, "Just be grateful that we have the kind of grocery stores we do here in the US," or, "It could have been a lot worse, look on the bright side," because I'm really trying hard not to see any positive in anything right now. And I don't wanna have to block you.

Okay! We went to Seattle the weekend before last to see sister Cathy and it blew my mind in every way. We had so much fun! I love that city! And yes I've been there in the winter. And I still love it. I love rain. Maybe I'd feel differently if I lived there. I don't know though. I'm secretly a huge rain/thunderstorm/overcast weather lover. Maybe because I'm secretly a dark and disturbed person. Like that episode of Seinfeld when that lady is strangely attracted to Jerry because he's pretending to be dark and disturbed. But maybe I really am. Looks like you'll never know.

We drove up to Anacortes to take a ferry over to the San Juan Islands and had to pull off here to have a look around. Look at this lake! Isn't it mystical?! And Halloweenish? It was the most beautiful drive with dense forest on both side... I kept closing my eyes and trying to tune my kids out so I could pretend I was Bella Swan moving to Forks. But a much cooler Bella Swan, obviously. The tuning out didn't work too well. But what was creepy was right after we took this pic how we actually saw a group of newborn vampires walking straight out of this lake.

Aunty Cat and Lucy... the ferry ride over to the islands... Lucy loved that we were on a "Fairy boat."

Our whale watching excursion from the San Juan islands! I approached this with great fear and trepidation considering the last time I went whale watching I barfed my brains out the entire time. Happy to report no vomiting this round. Love those little peeping eyes in this picture.

Getting ice-cream on Friday Harbor afterwards. Anyone who knows Lucy knows exactly why this hat is so fitting. For her and for Cathy. :)

Sisters feeding ducks in Kirkland.

The Evergreen State fair. This fair totally redeemed my sentiments about fairs in general. As in, I used to hate them and now I don't. We had a great time. We worry about Lucy not having enough of a sense of adventure in her. Big worry of ours.

We were especially worried when she was the one comforting Cathy on all the rides they went on, telling her she was gonna be okay and that she wouldn't get hurt.

We walked through this display of animal figurines and told Scarlett to give this little bear a kiss so we could ooh and ahh about how stinking cute she is... when we looked over and saw Lucy with both hands on the face of another bear, open-mouth making out with it, waiting for us to tell her how cute it was. I'm surprised that bear didn't press charges for sexual assault.

This first pic below might be my very favorite pic because... well I'm just gonna say it... I look so pretty. It's just a really really pretty pic of me. There I said it!

Thank you Cathy for being the greatest!! And for loving your nieces so much! Lucy's still talking about you and the fair. And she's been asking about that wooden bear figurine... they had a real

connection.

You think this post is over?! You think we're done here?!? We're just getting started!! Onto my birthday last weekend!

Jason arranged for us to leave our babies with his parents overnight and we headed up to Park City for some hubby/wife time. Look at this room! Isn't it glorious?

When I realized we were going up to Park City I immediately imagined us getting all crazy hard-core and adventurous... (knowing my husband), I imagined us riding a ski lift to the top of a mountain and mountain biking down it or something. I even had the nerve to tell him, "I hope you haven't planned anything adventurous or outdoorsy because I am so not in the mood." Good one Meradith. So you can imagine my delight when he handed me this:

He did good. Soooo good. Then we went to a lovely dinner and to a movie. Which might sound pretty standard as far as dates go, and maybe not that big of a deal. But it was a big deal for us.

The only thing that really irks me about having a little get-away with just hubby and me is that momming it now for over 3 years has permanently ruined my ability to sleep in. But it hasn't affected Jason at all. And then I have to make it about much more than just sleeping in. I start thinking about pregnancy and labor and nursing and our daily routines and pretty much everything else along with it that comes with motherhood; every other way that my life has changed and his hasn't. And then I get mad at him. And feel sorry for him too, because in reality I'm pretty sure I get the best part. At any rate, every morning we're away starts out like this:

Because I have no little girls waking me up with the sunshine and so when my eyes shoot open before 7 AM and he's still trying to snooze I'm bored out of my mind. And I creep him out. I don't care though.

Here we are at brunch before heading back to reunite with our littles at Gma's and Gpa's. So yummy. Yes those are crab legs you see sticking into the picture in front of Jason. Crab legs for breakfast. I couldn't quite do it, which is surprising for me. But he could. And he did. And he'll do it again if you let him.

Last but not least a little family birthday bash that evening. This coconut cake makes all my dreams come true every time Kristee makes it. I'm not joking. It calls for Sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk. Nuff said. I wanna lick the pan when it's all gone, but I'm afraid that the family will judge me.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes and love! It was a fabulous weekend. Every minute of it. 29th year here I come, whether you're ready for me or not. (Meaning I just turned 28 of course. Don't you dare try to rob me of a year of my life.) And wouldja look at that, we've covered grocery store woes, our last vacay, and a birthday celebration all in one itty bitty post. Love you all xoxo!!