I made these cookies on the night of our dinner party with Kalai and have had several requests for the recipe! I am not claiming the recipe as my own. In fact, when we were in San Fran, Vanessa made them for us, and I was completely lost in a "What about Bob?" trance. (Fay, is this corn hand shucked?) Upon inquiring of the origin of the cookies, I was outraged to learn that my mother and older sister have been making them for years and up until now I have been the lone sister left out of the recipe circle. Against my better judgment... I am now releasing the recipe to the public. I will not be held responsible from here on out for the consequences that will result.
1 cup butter (at room temperature)
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 cups quick oats (blended into a powder or left as is)
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 giant toffee and almond milk chocolate symphony bars (the 6 ounce bars)
bake at 375 degrees for 7 minutes (check at 5 depending on the oven)
Beat the butter and sugars together first. Then just add everything else.
Cut the chocolate bars into chunks. Resist the temptation to whittle them into the shape of chocolate chips! The chocolate chunks cannot be too small! We are thinking outside the box here.
Allow me to expound upon my comment above, "Against my better judgment..." These cookies are dangerous. They will most likely make you insane. You will be embarrassed by your behavior and shocked at what will come out of your mouth in attempt to safe guard them for yourself. They have been known to destroy lives, and tear whole families apart. They should be regarded with respect. You should expect to feel comfortable knowing you will down at least 7 or 8 before you choose to make them. The following took place at our house this week.
Jason and I have made a goal to limit our sweets to Saturdays. So, for a Valentine's treat I made a batch for him Saturday night when we were getting ready to watch a movie we rented. My brother Jesse was here with us as well. We began furiously feasting as soon as they had cooled, each with a tall glass of milk in hand. I realized Jason was looking at Jesse with disdain, and upon asking what the matter was, he responded under his breath, "Those are MY Valentine's cookies," while he hoarded 2 or 3 more.
Saturday night after all had had their fill, I quickly took the remaining 7, stashed them in a zip lock bag and hid them in the back of the pantry. I have to protect my loved ones from themselves. Monday morning I tell Jason, "Ok, you've got to hide the cookies from me while you go to work, and then when you get home I will hide them from you." It's a deal. We are reading the scriptures before he leaves. I interrupt him with, "Are you gonna hide those cookies??" Him: umm Can we finish? are you gonna eat the whole bag right now if I con't hide them this second? Me: well, no. Just don't forget. I don't wanna deal with that temptation all day.
Oh course, he forgets. I reluncantly have eaten a couple, and I gave one to Jesse as he headed back up to Idaho Falls. (Jess said to me, "ohhh! I didn't know there were any left! Do you have any more??" I had to pretend like I didn't hear him.) I have reminded my husband every day to hide the cursed cookies before he leaves! But he has not. I have been a victim to his negligence and therefore have been forced to partake.
Yesterday he discovered that there were but 3 cookies remaining in the bag. We had a moment of truth, and I admitted some things I'm not exactly proud of. He claimed that since there were only 3 cookies left of 7, that they belonged to him. I disagreed but I didn't really have an argument. Today I found the bag with only 2 cookies left. I text him: I can see that there are only 2 cookies left. him: I ate one of my three yesterday. Me: one of your one. Him: There better be 2 whole cookies when I get home or so help me... I'll Sam Palmer you if you touch them."
I tell you this to warn you of the ridiculousness that will come your way. I'm embarrassed to say that Sam (my brother-in-law) was also behaving in a shameful way, when upon arriving home from work he spied an empty cookie sheet, and was under the pretense that Ness had made the cookies and we had eaten them all and saved none for him... But that is a story Nessa will have to tell you. Bakers beware!
1 cup butter (at room temperature)
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 cups quick oats (blended into a powder or left as is)
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
2 giant toffee and almond milk chocolate symphony bars (the 6 ounce bars)
bake at 375 degrees for 7 minutes (check at 5 depending on the oven)
Beat the butter and sugars together first. Then just add everything else.
Cut the chocolate bars into chunks. Resist the temptation to whittle them into the shape of chocolate chips! The chocolate chunks cannot be too small! We are thinking outside the box here.
Allow me to expound upon my comment above, "Against my better judgment..." These cookies are dangerous. They will most likely make you insane. You will be embarrassed by your behavior and shocked at what will come out of your mouth in attempt to safe guard them for yourself. They have been known to destroy lives, and tear whole families apart. They should be regarded with respect. You should expect to feel comfortable knowing you will down at least 7 or 8 before you choose to make them. The following took place at our house this week.
Jason and I have made a goal to limit our sweets to Saturdays. So, for a Valentine's treat I made a batch for him Saturday night when we were getting ready to watch a movie we rented. My brother Jesse was here with us as well. We began furiously feasting as soon as they had cooled, each with a tall glass of milk in hand. I realized Jason was looking at Jesse with disdain, and upon asking what the matter was, he responded under his breath, "Those are MY Valentine's cookies," while he hoarded 2 or 3 more.
Saturday night after all had had their fill, I quickly took the remaining 7, stashed them in a zip lock bag and hid them in the back of the pantry. I have to protect my loved ones from themselves. Monday morning I tell Jason, "Ok, you've got to hide the cookies from me while you go to work, and then when you get home I will hide them from you." It's a deal. We are reading the scriptures before he leaves. I interrupt him with, "Are you gonna hide those cookies??" Him: umm Can we finish? are you gonna eat the whole bag right now if I con't hide them this second? Me: well, no. Just don't forget. I don't wanna deal with that temptation all day.
Oh course, he forgets. I reluncantly have eaten a couple, and I gave one to Jesse as he headed back up to Idaho Falls. (Jess said to me, "ohhh! I didn't know there were any left! Do you have any more??" I had to pretend like I didn't hear him.) I have reminded my husband every day to hide the cursed cookies before he leaves! But he has not. I have been a victim to his negligence and therefore have been forced to partake.
Yesterday he discovered that there were but 3 cookies remaining in the bag. We had a moment of truth, and I admitted some things I'm not exactly proud of. He claimed that since there were only 3 cookies left of 7, that they belonged to him. I disagreed but I didn't really have an argument. Today I found the bag with only 2 cookies left. I text him: I can see that there are only 2 cookies left. him: I ate one of my three yesterday. Me: one of your one. Him: There better be 2 whole cookies when I get home or so help me... I'll Sam Palmer you if you touch them."
I tell you this to warn you of the ridiculousness that will come your way. I'm embarrassed to say that Sam (my brother-in-law) was also behaving in a shameful way, when upon arriving home from work he spied an empty cookie sheet, and was under the pretense that Ness had made the cookies and we had eaten them all and saved none for him... But that is a story Nessa will have to tell you. Bakers beware!
5 comments:
oh. my. hell. this post was nothing short of epic. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the "What about bob" trance? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I cannot get over it. In fact, I would dare say that this is the only "recipe" post I have ever enjoyed reading on any blog, ever. And, you can bet your little buttons I will be making these cookies.
Love it!
i made these and they were amazing!!! thanks for the recipe!!!
Mer - I have a bone to pick with you...these cookies are even more addictive than you indicated in your post. Katie and I made them and I find myself getting up in the middle of the night just for nibble. You are paying me WeightWatchers bill!!!
Amazingly entertaining, as usual. My favorite line, "you hide them from me, then I'll hide them from you." We play that game with the Twizzlers with substandard results.
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