Real Life New Year's Resolutions

Okay. What is it about Christmas decor immediately after Christmas is over that makes it so insufferably cluttery? I've been trying to get it all put away this morning, and also been noticing the SERIOUS need for organization in my fridge, pantry, linen closet and laundry room, and when I get all ambitious and productive feeling at my house, it either makes me feel good and productive or it makes me a rage-a-holic and think about how no one cleans up after themselves and how I'm mostly a maid with benefits, a slave to organization and to every member of this family. This morning has made me the latter. And I've also been real tempted to throw out all of our stocking stuff and most of the girls' Christmas presents. Been feeling mostly like this guy:

So I'm taking a break to blog. You don't know this guy? Burgermeister Meisterburger? The one from Santa Clause is coming to town who outlaws toys? You've gotta get to know him if you don't. I mean, he is the primary villain in the story, but if you're a mom you'll have days that you relate to him. And we all need relating.

I think my surly mood may also have to do something with our smoke detector chirping for 2 hours in the middle of the night, from 1 to 3 AM, and now this morning magically the battery isn't low anymore and we haven't heard a peep. Which means we don't know which one it was. Because no one got out of bed to solve the problem. I'm looking forward to it happening again tonight. And my husband sawing logs through it. Again. Just kidding, I'd never let that happen two nights in a row. My husband sleeping through it, I mean. I think I'll sleep with a bucket of ice cold water next to our bed, just in case that thing starts chirpin' up again. And then once I dump it on his head I'll throw myself back into laying position and pretend like I'm fast asleep.

Here's the thing about trying to be task oriented with a 20 month old and a 3 year old. Lucy is trailing me all morning saying, "I want to help you! I want to help!" But what she doesn't know that she's actually saying is, "I want to set the house on fire." Because she's been trying to lift heavy boxes labeled fragile only to topple them onto their sides and give us all a nice loud startling crash of glass items clanging together on the inside. Or as I'm labelling boxes she will come and just snatch the permanent black marker out of my hand and insist she wants to help but while we are arm wrestling for the marker it inevitably smears all over the wall behind her or the curtains. She's pretty fast too, so I usually have to be like, "What's that?! Is that a fairy princess outside our window?!?!" in order to snatch it back and limit the destruction.

Scarlett on the other hand has no pretense about her destructive ambitions. Lip gloss smeared all over the nice chairs in our formal front room, arms halfway into the toilet just splashing around, glass figurines broken. So it's been a fun morning so far!

*BTW, If you've always dreamed about having your very own miniature porcelain Christmas village with wee little sleigh riders and Christmas carolers, I wouldn't recommend taking the plunge while tiny children dwell in your house and if by the looks of it, will be for years to come (as in, if you're pregnant with another). See, the magical little display does indeed add to the Christmasy feeling in your home, with the fake snow all around and the wee little ice-skating rink all lit up, and mini little Santa's workshop, but at the same time, the real downer is that it will make you hate your children. So I don't know if it does in fact add to the Christmas feeling afterall. And putting all those little bastards safely away this morning took like two hours, and was way more tedious that I had ever anticipated, especially because I was not working alone. I was playing offense and defense, man to man and zone. Glad it's done!

So, onto New Year's resolutions! Here we go.

Look at the number of blogs I wrote this year. It was about half the number of posts from my two previous years. (Can you tell this year I had a child old enough to cut naps out completely?) I'm setting a goal for this new year to pay attention to my children less and to blog more. I'm bringing blogging back. What happened to it anyway?

I'd also like to set a goal to gain more weight this pregnancy that my previous two. I'm well on my way so I think it should be attainable. I stepped on the scale at my last doctors appointment and upon seeing the number, I immediately heard an audible voice in my head that said, Chicken Pot Pies. Steer clear of Marie Calendar's chicken pot pies, sold in bulk boxes at Costco. They're just so delectable in every way in cold weather. But anyway, since my goal is to gain more weight, I'd better head to Costco and stock up. I have learned that the fatter the mom=the cuter the baby. True story, I read an article. Statistics say that moms with higher body fat percentages have considerably cuter newborns- up to 84% cuter, which is a dramatic rise in cuteness. They had nursery nurses in hospitals do the study, and it went something like, Oh yeah, that baby is way cuter than that one. How fat was the mom? Oh yeah... definitely... I'd say about 84% cuter that the other... Just kidding, there was no such article. I mean, how could one figure those statistics? You're so gullible! I still believe it's true though. I'm gonna google it right after this to see if there really ever has been a study linking fatter moms during pregnancy with cuter newborns...

Okay seriously, I just feel like goal setting while pregnant is a totally daunting task. I'm not trying to be lame or an excuse maker. I'm not trying to act like I've arrived at my perfect self and that I have no improving to do. My husband said yesterday that for Family Home Evening tonight he wanted to set some family goals and talk about our personal ones too. And I just shook my head and was like, Nahhh. But I didn't really mean it. I mean, we should. And we will. But thinking about the year and the fact that I will have a 3rd baby, a newby in four little months, which will make 3 children 3 years old and under, followed by the newborn haze and all that comes with it, makes me reluctant to set goals for the year.So here are my real life new year's resolutions. My serious goals that I really believe it possible to obtain in 2012:

1. Keep my children from from starving and/or freezing. Try to stay alive myself, too.

2. Stay married. I mean, we've never struggled with this one, but lots of people we know aren't staying married so it's a good one, right?

3. Stay true to the faith.

4. Try not to get pregnant again in 2012.

5. Maybe read Harry Potter series again, and use Jason's new wand around the house while I do. But this one is a maybe. Don't you dare go checking up on me with this one. Don't you try to pressure me. Harry and I have a natural, unforced relationship that flows freely. And I don't want you messing it up by heckling me about how my 3rd reading of the HP series is coming along. I might come back and delete this number 5 all together.

Phew. Glad I got those off my chest. And now that they're in writing, I'll be more likely to really stick to them.

The good news is, Lucy is taking over as primary parenting figure for Scarlett. She wants to read her books and feed her, tries to change her diaper. I stood in the back of the primary room yesterday after dropping her off with her new class and welled up with tears watching her sitting there with the big kids. First day as a sunbeam. I mean, certain rights are reserved for motherhood. And being a big blubbering mess is one of them.

She's also a very talented song writer as of late. That's right, our 3 year old writes original music. She sang one of her original pieces to me last night while I was putting her to bed. The lyrics went like this:

Heavenly Father wants me for a sunbeam

To shine for him each day

He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or nice, so be nice.

You better not pout, You better not cry,

Jesus is coming tomorrow.

And she said the last line all low-voiced, slow and deliberate and doomsdayish. I think I really startled her when her song was over, because I let out the loudest wheeze-laugh one can muster. And she just looked at me like, What's so funny? So I had to turn it into a hacking cough. Anyway, every last word, completely original. To think of lyrics so profound all by herself at a mere 3 years... astounding. She likes to announce that she wrote her own song all by herself too. We'll have to get it copyrighted one day so no one tries to steal her material and claim it as their own.

Here's to a prosperous new year!