Mostly pics

I've had some family members become downright surly with me requesting more pictures of Scarlett. So here are some shots of the recent happenings at our house. I can't believe Scarlett is over a month old. Well, first off I can't believe I'm married and have two kids. But I also can't believe that she is already 5 weeks old. And I can't believe that Lucy is 99.5 weeks old. JK, we don't still count Lucy's age in weeks. But really, they are both practically becoming old women before my eyes. Scarlett's already missing all of her teeth. She'll need dentures soon.

I CANNOT kiss this baby's face enough. Same with rubbing her head. I have to apologize to her for the frequency and intensity of both. Look at her veluptuous figure. Love that rotund belleh.

Fat n' happy, enjoying a little rock in our favorite chair...

When suddenly, she is encroached upon... look at the fear in her eyes. This is the scene every time I put her down and leave her vulnerable for 2.3 seconds.

Lucy is getting really good at soothing though, I mean just look how at peace Scarlett is here below... and look how innocent Lucy looks.

I can't stay mad at this little thing, even when she tries to suffocate our baby.

I think I remember doing this to my little sister. I'm pretty sure I've done it all of our lives.

Lucy also sat on her head but I intervened instead of getting a shot of it. I'd make a lousy professional photographer. And then I sat on her head and asked how she liked it. Just kidding.

Lots o' love to go around. Lots and lots o' love.

Scarlett at 8 days old

*Don't be offended if you never got one of these birth announcements in the mail, because we never sent them out. Too much work. :) But Amy made them up for us and we love them!

Scarlett is almost 4 weeks now, but we took these pictures when she had just 8 days under her miniature belt. I love these pictures. I am more smitten with this little bundle every day. Scarlett is such a sweet sweet baby with such a mild temperament. I know I've said this before but you really do just forget how newborns are, even if your babies are close in age and it hasn't been that long ago. She is heavenly, and I am obsessed with all of her little wonderful things. Her noises, (she sounds like a little old lady being assaulted when getting her diaper changed, she doesn't so much cry during it, just a high pitched yell, and when she does cry, it's so soft and sweet), her facial expressions when she gets all milk drunk (eyes rolling back), her facial expressions when she's not milk drunk, her little grunting, her pigeon pecking on my face and neck when she's rooting around... so many things. It's weird how amusing a mother finds it even when her new baby fills a diaper. It really is...weird.

Scarlett has a special spirit. She is a strong little soul. I don't think it's any coincidence that we are welcoming her into our family so soon after having to part with my brother. Tragedy and joy are so very interconnected. She was the only one physically with me on the day that I found Jesse. It was just her and me. I was just over 4 months pregnant with her, and just two weeks earlier we had found out she was a "her". I was very conscious of her throughout that day and week. I thought about her and worried about her. I told the 911 operator about her, for some reason I felt compelled to say, "I'm pregnant!" It was when she was trying to talk me through performing CPR on him, but I knew I couldn't do it. I knew there was no trace of him left there.

I have thought about the miracle of life and death deeply in these last few months. I met a few times with a counselor concerning Jesse's death. It was very beneficial for me. He told me that I would be able to get to the point where that room in our home, the one where Jesse passed away, could be a sacred place. Not a room to fear or to be warry of, but a sacred place where Jesse was able to take a step forward in his eternal progression. It could be a tender place where he spent his last moments here on earth before his spirit left his physical body and returned to our Father in Heaven. And it has become such a place.

Bringing Scarlett into the world was also a sacred experience, as was bringing her home from the hospital. It marked the beginning of her mortal sojourn. To be a part of her taking such a huge step in her eternal progression is sacred for us as her earthly parents. So, our family said farewell for a time to our brother, and we've welcomed a sister to earth. While we were checking into the hospital to have her, I sent a text to my mother and asked her, "You think she is saying goodbye to Jesse mom? You think he is sending her off?" and I couldn't help but shed a few tears thinking of that. I can't help it again writing it now.

Motherhood is difficult. Is it trying and tiring. And it is the noblest endeavor I've ever had the blessing to be a part of. These girls make me laugh every single day. They make me cry almost as much, for various reasons, but they make me laugh more. We thank Heavenly Father night and day for such happy, healthy, wonderful little people. They are so much sunshine.

The first 5 hours of my day.

Wake (for the last time) to nurse Scarlett at 7:00 AM. Hear birds chirping, see sunshine, and feel invigorated. Resolve to get all housework done in first three hours of day so we can go to the park after Lucy's nap. Want to be out enjoying the springtime. Feel good and motivated. Get up and get Lucy breakfast at 8. She munches a little of her bowl of cereal, decides she doesn't want it, dumps it out of the bowl, goes everywhere. Am trying to burp Scarlett while L is making the mess. Know I have to clean up mess immediately or it will grow exponentially. Put Scarlett down to clean up mess. Go back to burping Scarlett after looking Lucy in the eye and telling her "this is a no-no." She starts repeating "no-no!" to me. L starts begging for chocolate milk once I'm back to S. Burp S a little more, put her down and warm Lucy up a sippy cup of ovaltine. Get pork chops out of freezer and put them on kitchen counter. Want to try a new crock pot pork recipe, go to internet to look at recipes. Hear S fussing, she's been swallowing quite a bit of air while nursing and burping wasn't too successful. Get her to burp and calm her down. Come back out to Lucy sitting on kitchen counter with kitchen sink faucet turned on full blast, splashing water this way and that. Get her down, turn water off. Look for ingredients of recipes. Don't have complete ingredients for a single one. Hear S crying from other room, don't see Lucy. Go into room to find L doing the "human blanket" to S. Tell L to knock it off, pick S up and go back into kitchen to root through cupboards and pantry again. Give up on dream of new pork chops recipe, need to get them out of my face now. Put them in Tupperware and throw them in fridge. Notice bad raspberries in fridge. Notice lots of bad stuff. Start chucking things into garbage. Go into bedroom and put S on bed. Can't see Lucy. Find her. She's closed herself into the bathroom linen closet, has box of Q-tips strung out. Ask her what her problem is. Gather up Q-tips and stash them back in closet. Notice Edward Scizzorhands in mirror. Tell him he's not welcome. But that I like his bathrobe. Pick up S again. Smell something. S needs a diaper change. Go to changing table, Lucy crawls up into pack and play bassinet and stands next to changing table to "help". Her job is to pull diaper straps off. We change the diaper and I smell something even worse. Lucy needs a diaper change. I ask her if she has a doodie and she grabs her bum and runs away from me yelling no. Chase her down. Start to change diaper and notice a little diaper rash. Apply desatin. See Mother's day card from Jason sitting on my nightstand. Re-read it. Hear S start to fuss. She is hungry again. Can it already be that time? Sit in rocker to nurse her in family room. Lucy want to watch super why and sit on my lap, too. Both in lap, nursing S, arm wrestling L with one arm because she keeps trying to jam a pacifier in Scarlett's mouth while she's latched on. Text Jason at work, "I don't really believe what you wrote in my mother's day card. The part about you being impressed at how well I've transitioned to having two babies. I think you just thought that sounded like a good thing to say, but I just don't know if I believe you've been "impressed" by me." Press send. Almost time for L's nap, but she decides she's hungry now even though shed been so wasteful and ungrateful before. Finish nursing Scarlett, make Lucy a spinach scrambled egg and sit her in her high chair. Go back to burp S. Hear phone, read Jason's response, "You're silly. I think you're doing great." I respond, "How would you know?" Smell something again. S needs another d change. Change it, Lucy starts shrieking in protest because she can see I'm changing it without her aid. S is wide awake, time for L's nap. Tell her "let's go night night". Put S in her swing and put a pacifier in her mouth. Lucy is hand fighting me again because she is trying to get the paci out of Scarlett's mouth. I nudge her out of the way with hips/rear, she yells at me protesting and starts to fake cry. I tell her to stop faking and she starts laughing. L and mommy go into L's room. I get another text, "Both girls are doing great so that's the main thing." I resist texting back and telling him that was another thing he just thought sounded like a good thing to say. Rock Lucy for 5 seconds, while speed reading her a book, skipping multiple pages because I can hear that S is going beyond fussing, she is starting to cry. Put L in her crib, tell her night night and that I love her, give her her book to read and close the door. Pick S up out of swing and realize she is all hot and sweaty. Strip her down to diaper, notice she needs another diaper change. Change it, sit back down, think about my grand ambitions for the day and start to cry a bit. Think about full hampers of dirty clothes, see dirty dishes, toys strewn about family room, and layer of finger paintin' dust on mantle above fire place. Feel claustrophobic. Cry a little more. Then it morphs into more of a laugh-cry, like a schizophrenic maniac. :)

This run down is for when Jason gets home from work this evening and inevitably asks what I did today. I will sit there, silently spacing out, eyed glazed over staring blankly at the wall because I wont be able to think of a single thing that I did.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, this sequence of events below is a little indication of what would be happening to poor Scarlett if I wasn't standing guard 25 hours a day. That's right, 25 hours a day. Starts out relatively peaceful. And then quickly spirals out of control into a WWE- style display of dominance and power.

A late word on mothers

*Disclaimer: I know I'm late. Cut me some slack. I had this really great idea to write a big tribute about my mom, her funny quirks, memories I have of her, etc... but I made the mistake of mentioning that idea to my little sister Vanessa who immediately poached it and wrote up a really fantastic tribute to our mommy dear here before I could do mine. Okay, She did not actually poach my idea, none of that is true (as if writing about your mother on mother's day could ever be an idea to be stolen. Matter of fact, I didn't think of it at all beforehand. So it was all hers.) The truth is, when I was reading her post I was just thinking, "Why didn't I think of that first!? Why didn't I tell that story about our mom?! and kicking myself for not beating her to the punch. But then I thought I love our mother, too. Vanessa can't be the hog of all mother-lovin'. So why can't I write a little diddy, too? So I am.

The first time I held Lucy in my arms I remember the overwhelming feelings that came over me. I remember during those first few weeks of her life, my mom told me, "Now you know how I felt about you, it's something no one can understand until they are a mother." I had to tell her not to say that, and she laughed, because I felt like it was almost sacrilegious to try to compare the way I was feeling for that new baby to anything anyone had ever felt in the history of the universe; especially for me. But I've slowly come to believe it and accept it, especially after feeling that intensity of tenderness for Scarlett as well.

The first year of motherhood for me consisted of many many feelings of regret for any and every unkind word I'd ever spoken to her, any time I'd ever disobeyed her or disappointed her, because I just couldn't believe how much work I was putting into this tiny person. I could not believe how much sleep I was losing; whether it be meeting her needs or just losing sleep thinking and worrying about her. I remember thinking, "So this is what moms do??" Like I was suddenly initiated into a weighty secret club that I had been blissfully oblivious to. I was in shock and disbelief that women had been doing this since Eve, and signing up for it over and over again.

You can imagine my surprise when the newbie bug hit me again. Lucy wasn't even a year old yet and I started craving another tiny wrinkly prune faced little dreamer. There I was, signing up for it again though I'd been questioning just months before how that even happens to women. Even the Savior speaks of this phenomenon, drawing a comparison to trials and tribulations coupled with joy: "A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world." (John 16:21). And here we are today with 2 kids, and hopefully more to come.

I truly believe there is a bond between mother and child unlike any other bond on earth, simply because of the amount of discomfort and pain that the mother must experience to bring that baby into the world. Pregnancy is a world of pain and discomfort in and of itself, not to mention labor and delivery, aching and throbbing boobs, cramping uterus trying to shrink back to normal, endless sleepless nights and many other discomforts which, at least on this blog, are not suitable to speak of. (I don't want to horrify you mothers-to-be:) but...you should be warned. For mercy's sake, sign up for a prenatal class or something when the time comes.) There is something about investing so much of yourself that allows you to love so much deeper than you otherwise could. There is something about sacrifice and suffering that makes us more God-like, thus our capacity to love is more like His is. President Joseph F. Smith said, “The love of a true mother comes nearer [to] being like the love of God than any other kind of love” (“The Love of Mother,” Improvement Era, Jan. 1910, 278). And I believe that.

That brings me to my mother. She is a sublimely unique, artistic and the warmest woman you will know. You are guaranteed to be amused around her, and she doesn't mind admitting how funny she thinks she is. The first time I left Lucy with her for a few days when she was 3 or 4 months old I typed up a nap schedule, feeding schedule, etc. for my mom and asked her to look over it before we left. I came back to it and found this added at the bottom:

"Kiss my picture that is on the wall seven times before you go to bed. Turn around three times and hug Clifford the big red dog. Try to put on some of my clothes and straighten your hair so Lucy doesn’t get confused…put on my perfume, too. Once a day try very hard to do the lizard run in front of Lucy. Make sure she is watching because it will surely comfort her."

(BTW, the lizard run is a rare talent I've been able to display since awkward adolescence. I can't describe the hysterical fit of laughter that followed my reading this paragraph on the part of my mother. Lots of wheezing and hooting.)

She is a treasure hunter; be it material items or people. She is a Scrabbler/Quibbler maestro. She is a counselor to many. (I remember going through break-ups in high school and being startled to answer the door to find the boy asking for my mother, not me. I was not included in the conversations and they would sit and she would counsel him through the break up. That happened with two different boys that I can remember.) I was talking to my sister Bethany of the eventual funeral (30-40 years from now) that we will hold in her honor, and the variety of people who will come to show their love for her. Present will be every walk of life imaginable. And everyone will say, "Nancy was my very best friend," because that's the way she makes everyone feel. My siblings and I are so extremely fortunate to have been born to her and my dad.

Happy Mother's Day to my mother. I love you dearly Mama. You are a wonderful trusted friend to me. Happy Mother's Day to my sisters and sisters-in-law and fabulous mother-in-law, and all of the many many women who have sniffed a miniature diapered bottom more than 3 times a day for any extended period of time. And all of the rest of you women who have profoundly touched my life in countless ways.

Fourfer

Before we even get started, I need to tell you I am trying to make the connection between having to wake up a couple times a night with a new baby and looking like a drug addict the next morning. I used to wash and style my hair and be able to ride on that for a few days before having to really do it again. I'd say my best hair day was actually day 2 or 3 after washing. Those days are over. I am so greasified. I mentioned this already on FB, but it is perplexing enough for me to mention it here as well. I really can't figure out why I look exactly like Edward Scizzorhands every morning. Seriously. My overnight make-up, (I'm sorry Cathy, I haven't been using the 3 step every night...Forgive...) hair...everything. It makes me gasp everytime I face a mirror.

Maybe I should ditch the tight black leather pajamas with silver rings. Maybe that's adding to it as well.

Having that off my chest, I can move on. This post is like 4 posts in 1. Hence the title. Both babies are asleep, house is messy= my time is limited.

Everyone's been trying to figure out who Scarlett looks like. When she was first born we really couldn't see anyone in her. But we think she is starting to look a little more like Lucy, and we've always thought Lucy was a pretty even mix of both Jason and me. If I had to guess, I'd say genetically they're both about 50/50. :) The family resemblance is starting to come through. But she's her own girl, no doubt about that.

Fun to compare pics. I wish we had some pictures of Jason as a newborn. No dice.

Sister Lucia Davina:

Mother Meradith Marie:

Little sister Scarlett Marie:

I love that she and I are rocking identical hair dos.

Since we don't have any newby pics of Jason, I will throw up a few toddler pics to compare Lucy with.

Here is me, here is Lucy, I'm guessing around the same age.

and Jason: (Look at that wee little suit! Scrumptious.) She's definitely got her daddy's eyes.

Kinda fun!

Next on the list: Cousins!

Little Corbin Jay and Scarlett both came in April! Becky and I were roommates in 2004, and she is how Jason and I met. (I fell in love with Becky long before I fell in love with her brother.) In fact, she pulled many strings to ensure that we are where we are today. Little did we know, back when we were going country dancing together and venting to each other about lame dates that 6 years later we'd be giving birth to cousins less than two weeks apart. I'm sure we would have raised our fists in the air and shouted a few good hip hip, hoorays! :)

2 days after Scarlett graced us with her presence, 14 days after Corbin did:

What you don't know about this third pic is that Scarlett's favorite lullaby is, "You shook me all night long," by AC/DC. Corbin was happy to scream/sing it to her, and she found it especially soothing.

What angels.

Moving on! Lucy has been extra smitten with her daddy these days, which I welcome. She is extra sad when he goes to work, extra drunk-happy when he walks through the door, and basically stalks him around the house when he is here. And I lub lub lub it.

She stood here just like this for a good solid 30 minutes...

Just to get a few glimpses of this here below. And I can't say I blame her. That's one fine-lookin' man. She'd scream like a banshee every time he looked at her or got remotely close to the window.

Overall, sisters are getting along splendidly, Mama is relaxing a bit and sleeping a little better, and Dad is peachy as ever.

Green bean peace offering

Okay, family will most likely get the biggest kick out of these clips but we thought the first meeting of the sisters on the day Scarlett was born was worthy to document. Some of the things I love about the videos: Lucy prying Scarlett's fingers open to deliver the green bean, how many times my mom says to Lucy, "Don't bend her arm back," (even more in the unedited/uncut version), Lucy's maniacal laughter in the second clip and how she sorta reminds me of Elmyra Duff from Tiny Toons...

and I especially love Jason's smitten-ness over his girls...you can just hear the love in his voice. :)