Back to life. Back to reality.

I want you to sing that song when you read the title of this post. All breathy and sultry like the girl who sang it originally. And I want it stuck in your head all day. And maybe you could stand up and throw in the running man while you're at it. It's a goodie.

We've been on family vacay for the past few weeks. There's lots to report on. The prospect of writing this post has been a bit daunting to me. It's been so daunting that whilst tossing and turning at night, I've managed to pinch a nerve in my neck and thus having no choice but to walk around slightly zombie-ish, unable to turn my head and look from side to side. (This means when looking from side to side is necessary, it's a full body experience. And it's weird.) But today, I've resolved to give this here blogpost a whirl. And to touch briefly on recent happenings instead of giving a full history. Just stop, stop it! I know you want every little detail of every second of every day and every adorable little thing both children of mind have done/said in the past few weeks! But I just can't do it! Love you so much though still!!

Before I touch on some of these said happenings of the past few weeks, I want to tell you a little story. A story that took place at our house three mornings ago, on July 15th. A story about a friendly little weirdo who visited us and who we're sortof missing these days. No, it's not one of the guys working on our landscaping. It's no distant relative. In order to protect identities, I like to just call him "Mr. Squirrel". I'm not trying to be offensive calling him that, but he did have teeth that protruded slightly just like a squirrels' do and long rodent-like claws on the ends of his little mitts. But we'll mostly call him that because he was a squirrel.

So Jason and I open up our backdoor early that morning to let some fresh morning air in and let the girls wander outside onto the patio. We turn to head outside to rejoin them, and Jason spots something out of the ordinary, and quickly starts saying, "Mer, Mer, Mer," with some urgency in his voice. I look out to see a big fat bushy gray squirrel curiously staring Scarlett right in her face. As in an inch away, nose to nose. Apparently Jason watched it make a run for her clear from the woods.

Naturally, some freaking out ensues that includes rushing towards the two and making strange animal noises myself in attempt to shoo. And Mr. Squirrel shoos. For a moment. Gets about 10 feet away from us and makes a full on U-turn. And bounds directly towards Jason's legs. Here he comes.

And then he just perches. And sits directly in front of him. Just enjoying the morning sunshine with us.

Then came the attack. Just kidding. It wasn't an attack. But it was sumpin' crazy! That little varmint didn't hurt that sweet husband of mine; no biting or aggression at all, but it was indeed some loony wild stuff that went down in the moments following:

Jumps right up onto Jason's leg and starts turbo-scurrying around it. Round and round and round, and Jason's squeelin' and gigglin' all the while. It's like this squirrel is being reunited with a long lost loved one. It's like Jason's leg is his favorite uncle. The kind of uncle you're in love with. And he doesn't stop. He starts to pick up even more speed scurrying around that husband of mine's leg, and starts to make him uneasy. We were uneasy from the get-go, let's be honest. Pretty soon Jason's yelling at me to Get inside! Get the girls inside! as I'm watching this relationship escalate and turn sour right before my eyes. You can't scurry so much around someone's leg the first time you meet them Mr. Squirrel! You appear over-eager. And that's not attractive to anyone.

So I run the girls back inside and watch from the window as a scene unfolds much like the killer rabbit scene from Monty Python... I see Mr. Squirrel take a flying leap for Jason's jugular... Suddenly hubby's down on the ground steamrolling all around our yard with that squirrel attatched to his neck. Just kidding. But hubby did take some time gettin' that crazy varmint off his leg!

And when he came back inside and we just sortof had to stand there in confused silence with furrowed brows staring at each other for a moment. Because we're both just so weirded out at what just took place.

We immediately got online and read up on rabid squirrels and were relieved to learn that it's really uncommon... because they're smaller animals rabies usually kills them before they even start showing symptoms. It did however say on the website, "Healthy squirrels can be noisy, bold and curious. They often chatter and make scolding sounds at humans and dogs. Rambunctious behavior in squirrels does not denote rabies." So that's what we'll call that? Rambunctious behavior? I think he was mentally disturbed. And I'm still creeped out about it.

Jason left to work shortly after our encounter with Mr. Squirrel. And I had babysitters come over and tend the girls so I could go to an appointment to address said pinched nerve in neck. (Alright, it was a massage... and that masseuse worked wonders on me!) You can imagine my terror as I round the corner to get home to our house and see not one, but two cop cars in front of my house. And I see two officers standing in my doorway talking to my cute little 11-year old babysitters. So I pull into my driveway and duck and roll out of my car, hide behind a tree with a fake gun pointed at the cops and tell at them to FREEZE!! and PUT YOUR HANDS UP!! (You never know when they might be impostor cops) when the officers tell me "Don't be alarmed ma'am, but we heard there was a squirrel attack here this morning."

Wow. Really?? A squirrel attack? I told them, There was no attack officers, in fact I'm not even sure what it was I saw go down between that squirrel and my husband... but it wasn't an attack. There was lots of love involved. And I invited them in to show them these very pictures I've shown you. They thought it was kinda funny too. And weird.

We decided that was no rabid squirrel. We decided he was just slightly mentally deranged. But ya know, that little guy seemed really over the moon happy about his derangement. The kind of loony-happy I aspire to in this life. We don't know what ever happened to that Mr. Squirrel. We know he's out there somewhere. We wish he'd write. But keep his distance at the same time. Just wave from the tree the next time you're in the hood, Mr. Squirrel. Don't rush up on my baby ever again.

Phew. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Can you believe the police came??? Turns out Jason mentioned the incident while he was leaving on his morning run to our neighbor and she made the call. I love Provo, Utah so much. Never leavin'.

I'll tack on just a few more pics for your enjoyment and then I'm gettin' outta here!

Nessa and Sam and company came up for a week or so before the 4th of July... it was glory in its finest. Now they live clear on the other side of the country. :(

Anything better than summertime as a child? No. Nothing.

Then the rest of the fam came down to the good 'ol Wasatch mountains and we were able to go to the temple together. It was wonderful. So grateful to be a part of this family.

This might be the best pic though. Especially Abe.

Then we all headed up to Idaho Falls for the Independence Day festivities! Grandbabies watching our Sam and Walid shoot off fireworks in front of Grammy and Papa's house.

Yeah... look at Lucy... as I'm motioning for you to do in the photo. Mind was blown!!

My Ma and Pa... proud grandpappy and mammy

Scarlett showing off her pearly whites

My favorite women. Nothin' like sisters.

After Idaho Falls we drove directly to Moab for the annual Christensen Family retreat!

I may or may not have soiled my drawers... repeatedly... on this hummer tour.

Spent a day at Mesa Verde and hiked over to these ancient cliff dwellings. Aren't these ruins AMAZING? They speculate that they were inhabited from about 550 AD to 1300 AD. I loved this day. Partly because Gma and Gpa insisted that we all leave our babies with them for the trek. And that meant they had 4 kiddies ages 2-4 and 4 babies from 9 months to 16 months. 8 total. Yeah... I caught a glimpse of the S on Grandma's chest underneath one of her button up shirts. I even spied a wee little cape hanging in her bedroom. She's not foolin' anyone.

The next day we tried to tell Lucy she couldn't go on this hike... mostly because it involved hiking clear down a huge ravine and hiking back up on the other side to see more ruins... but she threw an absolute fit. And that meant daddy caved and took her.

The other side. This was like that scene from Rocky in Philadelphia when he runs up the stairs and does repeated fist pumps in the air... I think eye of the tiger was playing somewhere in the distance.

You are officially caught up. Love you so much!

I am pioneer.

I thought the title of this post sounded pretty epic, like I am legend or something. So I'm goin' with it. We just got back Saturday evening around 6 pm from a pioneer youth trek! My body aches, my mosquito bites itch, my lips are all swollen and blistered from being sunburned. But I feel good! It was a sacred and wonderful experience. Before we get down to the nitty gritty, I have to tell you that one of the real highlights for me was yesterday at church when a girlfriend of mine from the ward came up to me and laughing related to me that one of the boys in our "pioneer family" told her son who was also on trek that, Yeah so the Christensens were my parents, and when I turned around and looked at them at Martin's Cove, they were like totally making out!! Can you believe that?!

Jason and I make it a point to "make out" at sacred places. It's like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry and his girlfriend are caught making out during Schindler's list. Except that on that episode, it really happened. This bit of gossip is awesomely hilarious on too many levels to even talk about. I told her I'm lending out my pioneer outfit to women who need to spice up their marriages, because obviously Jason couldn't keep his hands off me in mine. I also suggest not showering and laboring outdoors, working up as much sweat and BO as possible. The mojo really flows. I start laughing out loud every time it comes back into my mind. Just imagining the whole steamy scene of us surrounded by 160 youth and fellow youth leaders.

Okay, back to seriousness. My husband and I went as a "Ma and Pa". And for those of you who aren't familiar with it, they organize all the youth (ages 12-18) into "families" and ask married couples (for our stake there was 18 couples) to be Mas and Pas over each family. We had 9 youth in our family. So we left our Lucy and Scarlett with their aunty here in Utah and set off with a school bus full of teens Thursday morning at 5 AM towards a city I like to call middle of nowhere, Wyoming. And the bus ride looked something like this: Okay, fine, exactly like this. And if you couldn't tell from the angle this shot was taken, yes... we were in the very back row.

We had to meet at the church at 4 AM btw. Just want you to know how seriously I take my toughness. I like it black. No sugar, no cream.

For 3 days we had no cell phones, no ipods, no TV, no electronics of any kind (that was one of my favorite parts). We had no showers, no flushable toilets, and no mirrors. We camped. We "treked". We went a total of about 15 miles, pulled handcarts for 10 of them. We dressed like pioneers. We square danced. We met as families often and shared spiritual and strengthening experiences. The purpose of going on trek is to gain a stronger testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, to appreciate more the sacrifice and suffering that took place among the early saints of the restoration of the church, and to come home committed to live better lives. Goals were accomplished. Lives were changed.

For just a bit of history now. In 1856 two companies of Mormon handcart pioneers named the Willie and the Martin handcart companies left Iowa City bound for Salt Lake City, where the saints were called to gather and settle. (To read more, go to this site. It has some good pictures and more of the history.) In short, they left late in the season and ultimately many company members died along the way due to starvation, disease, and freezing to death. The most suffering occurred in Wyoming when an early blizzard came upon an already severely weakened group. As soon as Brigham Young knew about the two companies still on the trail, he sent out rescue parties to bring them into Salt Lake.

"...men, women, and children worn down by drawing handcarts through snow and mud are fainting by the wayside; falling chilled by the cold; children crying, their limbs stiffened by cold, their feet bleeding and some of them bare to snow and frost. The sight is almost too much for the stoutest of us, but we go on doing all we can, not doubting or despairing. Our company is too small to help much, it is only a drop in a bucket, as it were, in comparison to what is needed. I think that not over one-third of Mr. Martin's company is able to walk. This you may think is an extravagant, but it is nevertheless true...."

John Chislett of the Willie Company wrote:

"Cold weather, scarcity of good, lassitude and fatigue from over-exertion, soon produced their effects. Our old and infirm people began to droop, and they no sooner lost their spirit and courage than death's stamp could be traced upon their features. Life went out as smoothly as a lamp ceases to burn when the oil is gone. Death was not long confined in its ravages to the old and infirm, but the young and naturally strong were among its victims. Men who were, so to speak, as strong as lions when we started on our journey, and who had been our best supports, were compelled to succumb to the grim monster. These men were worn down by hunger, scarcity of clothing and bedding, and too much labor in helping their families. It was surprising to an unmarried man to witness the devotion of men to their families and to their faith, under these trying circumstances. Many a father pulled his cart, with his little children on it, until the day preceding his death. I have seen some pull their carts in the morning, give out during the day, and die before next morning..."

We visited the areas where they suffered the most. We heard story after story of individuals who gave all they had, who found their children or spouses frozen to death when morning came, who had to bury their little ones all along the trail. We went to the very places where they had to bury the most of their family members. And the spirit in these places was amazingly strong. I bawled like a baby for about 80% of the three days, thankful for my wee little' bonnet to pull down over my face.

We laughed so much with these kids. I really wanted to adopt all 9 of them by the time our short time together was up. Some have come from really difficult family circumstances. We saw heroism in these young people. And I don't think we give them enough credit. On one part of the trail the men gathered together and walked ahead to the top of a huge hill. This was called the women's pull, in remembrance of the women who had to carry on alone when their husbands died, many times pulling their small, sickly children by themselves. We sisters stayed behind and one of the sister missionaries told us a story of a sister who pulled her sick and dying brother in the handcart for a good portion of the journey west. When all of us girls finally caught up with the men and boys, they were standing on both sides of the trail in complete silence and had been asked to just turn and walk behind us as we continued pushing on. It was a very solemn moment. The spirit was incredibly strong. As we continued to walked along one of our boys who will turn 16 soon turned back to his leaders and in a pleading tone of voice, referring to the handcart, asked, Can I take it from them yet? Can we help yet? It was hard for these boys to watch their sisters pushing that handcart up that mountain. It was such a tender experience. One I'll never forget.

Francis Webster of the Martin Handcart company said, "We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Every one of us came through with absolute knowledge that God loves for we became acquainted with Him in our extremities. I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, 'I can go only that far and there I must give up for I cannot pull the load through it'. I have gone to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me! I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the Angels of God were there. Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No! Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company."

The suffering of these early pioneers was not in vain. There was great purpose in it. They did not have to come west. These ones in particular knew that death would be looming over them if they went because they left so late in the season. They chose to go anyway. They went because they knew it was all true. They knew that the heavens were opened once again and God the Father and His only begotten Son Jesus Christ had restored the fullness of their gospel to the earth again in these latter days in preparation for the second coming of the Savior of the world. They knew that Joseph Smith in reality had been called to be a prophet and that just as in times of old, God spoke once again through prophets and apostles and lead His church through the priesthood authority that had been lost for so many years but restored to the earth again. They had unshakable testimonies of these things, for the same reasons I do. Because the Spirit of the Lord had confirmed these truths to their hearts, just as it has to mine so many, many times. They were willing to die for the sake of truth. I hope to be as courageous. I hope to have just a portion of the faith in Jesus Christ that they had. The Lord performed many many miracles among them, and angels were sent to lift them up. And just as Paul states in Phillipians, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me".

I can do hard things in this life, too. I can be strong and faithful no matter what challenges may come. I always want to remember them and all that they gave.

A blog post two days in a row...

...it's kindof a big deal! I just feel like I want to talk a little bit more about some things on Jesse's birthday. I put a little something at the end of my blog post yesterday but I have more to write. I don't want to be a Debbie downer and talk about death on my brother's birthday. But healing is a process so bear with me.

Jesse has kindof turned me into a nutcase. In reality, I have to tell you I'm a little bit crazy. If Jason is out running errands or at the office and doesn't answer my phone calls or respond to my texts in what I deem to be an appropriate amount of time, I turn into a pacing, bawling-my-eyes-out loon. Because those seemingly insignificant things were the first red flags I came to on my road to discovery that my brother had passed on to the next life. I can imagine me telling him this right now and him laughing... and saying something like, "Gosh... sorry sis..." And I know I've always been kindof loony. But the experience he and I shared 18 months ago has compounded it.

Case in point: Here is a succession of text messages that Jason received yesterday at work. I had already tried to call him twice before the first text went through.

{*note: emoticons in a marriage have been proven to improve communication by up to 70%. I find that when he's not responding to me, the gun emoticon and ticking time bomb emoticon are especially effective in communication. And maybe the little pile of poop emoticon as well. }

After I still had not heard from him I broke down and started contacting people in his office. And immediately got a text back that he was in a meeting with the NorthStar board of directors who had flown into town just for a few hours to meet with him.

I immediately felt sheepish because he had told me a couple days prior that they were flying into town on Tuesday. And I felt more sheepish because I imagined him being irritated that all of those texts were coming through. I was hoping his phone was on silent. He called me shortly after and I thought I had dried my eyes pretty good. But then talking to him I burst into tears again. He wasn't upset at all. Even before I started to cry. He was just apologetic. See how loony I am?

When Jesse passed away I was hit with the reality of death. This reality hits me in waves now, where sometimes I feel hopeful and secure and sometimes I feel like frantically retreating with my little family into the mountains and turning off all electricity and running water. Don't know how that'd solved anything. But it's appealing sometimes. The reality is that death can happen to anyone, anywhere, any age. And it does happen, every day, all around us, all over the world. And we have absolutely no control over it.

How thankful I am to have a knowledge of the Creator's plan. How thankful I am for modern day scripture that is so accessible to all who desire to understand the teachings of Jesus Christ better. How thankful I am for the account of the resurrection of the Savior found in the gospels of the New testament. His loyal disciples had come back to the tomb where His body had been lain, and the tomb was empty. He had risen. He had defeated physical death and spiritual death both. Jesus Christ conquered all in order to prepare a way that we might escape death and pain as well if we will but follow Him.

Some of the most comforting scriptures regarding death in the Book of Mormon are found in Alma, when Alma the prophet is teaching his son.

11 Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

12 And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

How thankful I am to know that Jesse is free from the sorrows he knew during his life here on earth. He is in a place where he can progress and can learn; freed from the slings and arrows of this mortal world that weighed upon him so heavily while here. I am thankful to have the knowledge that he is home and I will see him again.

And if my brother's passing has made me a little loony, it's okay. If it's made me try to take more time and put more energy into nurturing my family relationships and being more conscientious of the feelings and hardships of others, it's really okay. I don't mind being a little loony.

Happy Birthday again to my older brother Jesse. 34 years ago today mom and dad looked down into the tiny swollen little face of their firstborn child. They were introduced to feeling love on a totally new level 34 years ago on this very day. We look forward anxiously for the day we are reunited as a family Jess. Until then try to stay out of trouble. :) I love you.

As of late in our house

I have Barbie girl stuck in my head. Probably mostly because I changed my husband's default ringtone to that song on his cell phone a few weeks ago and he hasn't bothered to change it back. So every time his phone rings, it's I'm a Barbie girl, in a barbie world, life in plastic, it's fantastic. He says he doesn't know how to change it back. But I seriously doubt that. I just think he kinda likes it. Plus, he hasn't insisted at all that I change it back either, even if he didn't know how. Yeah... It's settled in my mind... he likes it.

Lots of excitement happening at our house these days. So sit down and prepare yourselves for the ride of your life as I take you by the hand and tell you about some of it. You just might need a clean pair of shorts when we're through... it's just that exhilarating!

First of all, Scarlett has turned into a full blown toddler... meaning she can't be left unattended for longer than 2.5 seconds because of the Wolverine-style metal blades that emerge from her hands so she can shred the house to pieces. Charming and irresistible and getting close to being just as mischievous as her older sister... Lucy is happy to lead the way. Trust me.

This is the scene in our kitchen at least twice a day. When we have people over and they are helping to clean up after dinner and ask the innocent question, "Where can I find some tupperware for this?" I'm immediately plagued with the recent vision of me shoving every last piece of tupperware back in that blasted cupboard and hurrying to slam the doors before it all comes toppling back out. So I know they're in for it when they open those little cupboard doors. And I've resigned to no longer explain myself about this. No more, "Oh... those silly girls get into this over and over again and I just can't keep reorganizing it..." No. I'm done with it. Maybe I'll install a spring loaded boxing glove in there instead, so it's not the disarray that they're so surprised by. I've been thinkin' about that spring loaded boxing glove for some time now. Great party feature.

Tearing as many wipes out of wipe pack that she can until I get over to her. Seriously, she picks up the pace significantly once she sees I've spotted what she's doing.

Scarlett's coming of age has brought some things with it that Lucy's did not. Lucy has never been a food thrower. However, Scarlett is, to an extreme. Like, baseball pitching food throwing. It's ridiculous. The worst part, she doesn't even wait until she's full to do it. She does it all along the way just because she likes to.

And another part of this early stage of toddlerhood is the fact that "no no" or any kind of stern voice is futile as far as discipline goes... it only makes her smile and laugh.

Other happenings at our house:

So I went out to dinner for a girlfriends' birthday the other night and left Jason with the girls. I got home around 10:30, and walked into the bathroom and almost let out a blood curdling scream because I nearly stepped on this. And I felt it was someone, not something laying on the bathroom floor with my foot before I'd even turned on the light. You can imagine the adrenaline. That's Lucy, in case you can't make it out. Wrapped up in a blanket, laying face down, curled up right next to the toilet. Oh, and she's naked under there we soon discovered. When I called Jason from our bedroom, pointed her out and looked at him expectantly for an explanation, he simply said, Yeah... I thought I heard her up out of her bed and walking around the house... and that was all he said, folks. Are you being serious? So you just kept reading on your iPad in bed and thought "Oh well"? She may have set the house on fire that very night people. She might have crawled into her sister's crib and tried to suffocate her. The possibilities are endless. We were laughing as we moved her into bed, but don't think I don't lay in bed at night with my eyes peeled these days... I thought I heard someone breaking into our home at 3 AM... but I was really tired. Oh well.

Speaking of Lucy being up at night when she's supposed to be in bed, this was the disturbing scene we beheld the other night at about 10 pm when we were watching a little tele in bed.

We'd supposed she had been snoozing soundly for some time. And I'm pretty sure that's a little toy zooble she has in her hand (thank you Grammy), but it may as well be a butcher knife.

Lucy is also getting quite expressive and artistic these days. She's not even 3 yet, but her sidewalk chalk art is really taking off. That's three distinct blob figures there folks, complete with 2 eyes and a mouth on each. And the one on the right has a lot of body hair. And the one in the middle has fangs. I'd like to take a tour in that mind of hers.

Other happenings. Remember how we transformed our 4 foot tall crawl space into kid heaven last summer? I guess it's husband heaven too...

I went to put Lucy down for a nap after letting Jason know what I was doing and confirming with him, "You got Scarlett, right?" (There was an audible Yes in response). While I was in Lucy's room, I heard that shredding of the house going on that I mentioned previously in this post... I came out to find Scarlett banging on the walls with some home decor items and Jason nowhere in sight. It didn't take me long to locate him though. Poor little tyke just got too tuckered out with all those toys.

And lastly, we went and checked out Orem Summerfest this last weekend. Here's Lucy and her girlfriend Avery getting ready to go on a mini roller-coaster.

Lucy's looking pretty smug and confident (ride had not begun yet)

The scene changed pretty quickly. She yelled for us to "Get me down!!!" every single time she passed us. And then was happy as a clam again as soon as she was off.

Similar situation with the swings. Hated every minute while she and Dad were riding, but acted like it was the best thrill of her life as soon as she got down.

And Scarlett's biggest thrill of summerfest was her first encounter with corn on the cob. Like mother like daughter. This is exactly what happened the first time Jason hand-fed me my first corn on the cob on our first date.

Not so sure at first...

It's delicious...

It must be mine:

And tomorrow is my brother Jesse's birthday. He would have been 34. Jess, I wish you were here to see your nieces getting bigger. They would have you laughing a lot. But I have a feeling you still get a kick out of them from where you are. You were the best uncle. We love you brother and miss you, every day.

Thank you to all for tuning in! Happy summertime!