A walk in the park

Saturday was like 40 degrees. So we had to take advantage of the "warm" weather, and go to the "park". JK, we really did just go to the park, not some other secret place that we use the code name "park" for. Doesn't it drive you batty when people misuse quotation marks? Or overuse them? Did you ever see that Friends episode when Joey cannot figure out when it's appropriate to use them and when it's not? Hilarious. I think I'll throw in a few unnecessary "" marks in this post, just to make it more interesting.

That angel faced Lucy, complete with mullet. She won't let me cut her hair. She says she likes it "business in front, party in the back." Her words.

2 1/2 months to go. So so fast this time.

Don't pretend like you weren't noticing the unusual thickness of my neck in this next pic. That's a body builders neck! It's the darnedest thing, they discovered this baby girl has a twin, and the fetus embedded itself early on just to the side of my esophagus. But Lucia is especially jubilant in this pic so I had to include it. The sacrifices we make.

This was taken just before I got into a scuffle with those two lurking in the background of this pic. They were bullying Lucy around. I have a few bruises but you should see them. Mulch was flying everywhere. haha can you imagine?

Lucy and "Daddy".

Man I can't just leave those quotes! I'm trying to but I can't! Because you see, that really is her dad. Not just my boyfriend she calls "Daddy"! And now I've over explained it, and it's not funny. I hate when people do that. Less is more, Meradith. Stop typing!

I am ecstatic for the Spring. Spring and Autumn are my very favorites. I love summer too, and aspects of winter, but no one is witching around in the spring or fall. In the winter we are witching around that it is just too cold and in the summer we are witching that it is too hot. Everyone is just blissfully content in the spring and fall.

I am especially anxious for this Spring because it is time for the rebirth. I need rebirth. This winter has been a hard one for me; for my family. I need the changes coming. I need the birth of this baby and this new chapter to begin. I need the change of season and to hear birds outside and to see flowers. Isn't it phenomenal that no matter how long or dreary a winter, the spring will always come? It is a metaphor of life. Don't mean to throw you off by suddenly switching gears here. But this will be the more pensive part of this post. :)

I have been thinking so much about motherhood lately. I have been searching my brain trying to think of the things that weighed upon my heart before having a mother's heart. What did I ever worry about? What stressed me out?? There had to have been some things. Maybe I was just bored and in turn stressed my husband out more back then. Maybe I initiated more talks about "feelings" with him then; analyzed our relationship more (quotes deliberate). I'm not sure. Ahhh the worry, the wonder, the fear, the love of motherhood. They all come hand in hand. You can't love this deeply without the worry and fret. Of course once you cross that threshold of feeling, you can never turn back, but sometimes I want to crawl in a hole away from it. Sometimes I want to shrink to think I am the person these little people will come to for protection and security, the person they are depending on to make everything better and to calm all of their fears. Really? Little me? It exhausts me sometimes to just think about. But then you just go from day to day and that's what life is now, and you can't imagine it any other way, nor would you ever want to. I love to mother. Not just my Lucy. But I love the essence of what motherhood is.

Here's to Springtime! Here's to motherhood! Here's to rebirth! And here's to first time births, too. So excited to meet you little sister.