Scarlett at 8 days old

*Don't be offended if you never got one of these birth announcements in the mail, because we never sent them out. Too much work. :) But Amy made them up for us and we love them!

Scarlett is almost 4 weeks now, but we took these pictures when she had just 8 days under her miniature belt. I love these pictures. I am more smitten with this little bundle every day. Scarlett is such a sweet sweet baby with such a mild temperament. I know I've said this before but you really do just forget how newborns are, even if your babies are close in age and it hasn't been that long ago. She is heavenly, and I am obsessed with all of her little wonderful things. Her noises, (she sounds like a little old lady being assaulted when getting her diaper changed, she doesn't so much cry during it, just a high pitched yell, and when she does cry, it's so soft and sweet), her facial expressions when she gets all milk drunk (eyes rolling back), her facial expressions when she's not milk drunk, her little grunting, her pigeon pecking on my face and neck when she's rooting around... so many things. It's weird how amusing a mother finds it even when her new baby fills a diaper. It really is...weird.

Scarlett has a special spirit. She is a strong little soul. I don't think it's any coincidence that we are welcoming her into our family so soon after having to part with my brother. Tragedy and joy are so very interconnected. She was the only one physically with me on the day that I found Jesse. It was just her and me. I was just over 4 months pregnant with her, and just two weeks earlier we had found out she was a "her". I was very conscious of her throughout that day and week. I thought about her and worried about her. I told the 911 operator about her, for some reason I felt compelled to say, "I'm pregnant!" It was when she was trying to talk me through performing CPR on him, but I knew I couldn't do it. I knew there was no trace of him left there.

I have thought about the miracle of life and death deeply in these last few months. I met a few times with a counselor concerning Jesse's death. It was very beneficial for me. He told me that I would be able to get to the point where that room in our home, the one where Jesse passed away, could be a sacred place. Not a room to fear or to be warry of, but a sacred place where Jesse was able to take a step forward in his eternal progression. It could be a tender place where he spent his last moments here on earth before his spirit left his physical body and returned to our Father in Heaven. And it has become such a place.

Bringing Scarlett into the world was also a sacred experience, as was bringing her home from the hospital. It marked the beginning of her mortal sojourn. To be a part of her taking such a huge step in her eternal progression is sacred for us as her earthly parents. So, our family said farewell for a time to our brother, and we've welcomed a sister to earth. While we were checking into the hospital to have her, I sent a text to my mother and asked her, "You think she is saying goodbye to Jesse mom? You think he is sending her off?" and I couldn't help but shed a few tears thinking of that. I can't help it again writing it now.

Motherhood is difficult. Is it trying and tiring. And it is the noblest endeavor I've ever had the blessing to be a part of. These girls make me laugh every single day. They make me cry almost as much, for various reasons, but they make me laugh more. We thank Heavenly Father night and day for such happy, healthy, wonderful little people. They are so much sunshine.