The latest.

Ugh. Lucy is watching Charlotte's web right now... has there ever been a single character in the history of animated characters more annoying than Wilbur? Everything about that stinking pig drives me nuts. He's just so pathetic, he does nothing for himself the entire movie... just sits around feeling sorry for himself. And his voice! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! Stop your whining! You're dyin'! Now get in mah belleh Wilbur! He chaps me. Really really chaps me.

We got home from Arizona last night, and it was a lovely time we spent there. Lovely. I wanna move there so bad every time we go there in January. It was sublime. My sisters and I spend a lot of time fantasizing about living down the street from each other. We're plotting. But I do have a story for you. Oh yes, always a story. But maybe only other moms will relate to this story. Because it was a bit mortifying for me. Gather 'round, get your blankies and warm milk. It's story time again.

So Saturday night Jason and me, my sister Bethany and her husband Walid decide to go out for a night on the town. (We ended up driving around their neighborhood hanging out the car windows bashing in mailboxes all night but that's a whole different blog post, folks. We're so crazy!) Ok seriously, we went to dinner. Went to dinner for some good ol' fashioned adult conversation and delicious grub (and by adult, I mean X-rated. Why does it seem like that every time the word adult is involved?). So Beth had arranged the babysitting and was excited to get two 15 year old girls in her ward (church) who babysit for their family quite frequently. And these twins are such peaches, sweetest girls on earth. We made the reservation late, close to 8:00 so I could get Scarlett down for the night and the rest of the munchkins would be close to bedtime as well. Well one of the sisters ended up not feeling well, so just one of them came over. We were a tad wary about this since Bethany has 4 kids (ages 3 to 9) and I have 2. We were reassured over and over again (these twins are the oldest of 6 kids) and Bethany even talked to her mom and she said she would come over if things got tough at all. So we left. Scarlett was sleeping soundly, and the rest were watching a movie getting ready to retire for the evening as well. We get back to the house around 10:30 and are relieved (as you always are) to see that things appear to have gone well. 5 out of 6 of the kids are snoozing soundly. Before we even walk into the house, we spot Lucy like this through the front window which we aren't surprised by in the least. She'll sack out easily pretty much anywhere and everywhere except where we'd like her to.

I was a little surprised to see Scarlett awake. The babysitter was holding her on her hip when we walked in but she seemed content. No big deal. So I take Scarlett and Jason's taking pictures of Lucy snoozing on this chair and I'm getting ready to take baby back upstairs when I hear Bethany from the kitchen sympathetically say, "Are you gonna cry?" And then I see the poor girl burst into full body sobs. Face buried in hands, but clearly contorted under there from the hysterical weeping.... Bethany hugging her, trying to comfort her. I'm in shock and so confused and as I'm walking over to them concerned and heart going out to her, Bethany says, "Well, was it my kids?" to which she replies, "Your kids were perfect... It was those two," and points to Scarlett in my arms and to the general area where Lucy is, still sobbing. I let out an audible gasp, my jaw drops completely. And I immediately feel like I just peed my pants in public or something. Don't ask me why that's the only thing I can compare it to. But it was just SO awkward. The complaints I've had from have been so few and far between.... I think one other time there was something other than complete gushing... so I wanted to crawl into a hole. And this poor girl was bawling her eyes out. Over the bullying that came from my children. Apparently I'm that mother. Of those kids. Her voice kept echoing in my head, Your children were perfect... IT WAS THOSE TWO!!! So I try to put my arm around her and ask what in the world happened but she obviously feels awkward too because she really doesn't want to talk to me about it, just sortof avoids eye contact with me and talks to Beth. And that's okay, because she knows my sister and doesn't know me at all. So I just let my sister do the investigating. And I pace. That's right. I pace in a little circle around the two of them, soaking up every word and pretending like I'm not there making a plastered-on-awkward face... something like this... the entire time.

She tells Bethany that Lucy just kept screaming, "Go away!!" at her, which she does to me too when she's overtired and ornery. And Scarlett woke up in there and from the sounds of it, when she took her out it might as well have been a huge tarantula taking her out of her crib and trying to comfort her. A 6 foot tall tarantula with heinously harry legs and drool-covered pincers. So they both screamed at her for at least a good half hour, and Lucy probably added a few personal insults in as well. Maybe something about her outfit or hair style. I apologized at least three times but that poor girl was still crying when my brother-in-law took her home. And I sat there on the couch feeling like the worst mother ever, making ridiculous proclamations to my husband like,"See? We're never getting a babysitter again! Our kids are the worst!" My sister came back inside, we took one look at each other and had a huge tear streaming laugh attack over the awkwardness of it all. I want to send her flowers. Not my sister, the babysitter, whose name is also Beth. I do think I'll call her the next time we're down there though and ask to sit for us again, so she can see just how angelic my kids really are. And I'll probably have to pay my nieces and nephew off so they're hellions the next time. Or maybe I'd just have to have the candid camera crew set up at her house, filming her reaction to me asking her to babysit again, so we can all watch it later and laugh about it and hi-five several times.

Phew. Glad I got that off my chest. Here are just a few other pics of our long weekend. The Phoenix zoo was near empty Monday morning. Glorious. :)

Ummm... Isaiah Joseph, lady killer much? yes much.

Olivia and Isaiah

Like I said before... Watch out.

'

This is when a neighbor boy tried to take Lucy's scooter... I distinctly remember hearing, "oh no he di'ent."

Here's some from when Bethany asked me if I could do photo shoot of just her... I think we got some good head shots sister!

First bike ride

and Scarlett Marie. If I stand in the same place for longer than 6.5 seconds, inevitably I will look down to see this. She follows me around all day long and tries to scale me every chance she gets.

She melts me. A lot. But don't let her fool you. And don't ever say yes if I ask you to watch them for a couple hours.