Sorrows and joys of sisterhood

My sisters Bethany and Vanessa are some of the VERY dearest friends I could hope to have in this life. Vanessa and I have shared a unique relationship through life because we are a year and a half apart and are the youngest of the family, always known as “the little girls” growing up. I remember doing our best to relinquish this family nickname at the ripe ages of 11 or 12, “We’re not little girls anymore!” Now I wish we were still referred to that way. I am extremely close to both of them (Bethany, pioneering as the first to wed of the family, was naturally hated as was her husband to be for some time for breaking up our sisterhood). However, Bethany is 3 years older than me, and when you are little that seems like so much. I tried to establish dominion over and over again over Vanessa as “the older sister,” of us two. I would ask her things like, “Don’t you just want to be like me so much??” but in one way or another, her response was essentially the same- she always sucker punched me and ran in the other direction. Therefore, to my disappointment, I was forced to accept her fairly early on as my equal. We tried to tag as much as possible with Bethany and her older friends and the older cousins but when it came to really playing as little children it was Nessa and me; climbing our Nana’s birch tree on 9th street, picking raspberries and currents from Grandma Berta’s huge raspberry patch, running constantly around the neighborhood with Dana and Daesha from across the street, biking down to the Kwik shop with whatever money we could scrounge, buying all the candy possible and then taking it back and sitting proudly around the pile of loot on our trampoline. We now talk on the phone multiple times a day, sometimes for hours, sometimes just sitting silently on the line with nothing to talk about. Ok not that last part about silently listening to each other breathe (creepy), but you get it. Close sisters.

This kind of relationship lends itself to embarrassing behavior as adults. The reason is because, no matter how poised and mature we may seem to all of you who know us personally (yes, I know it’s true) when we are around each other particularly in family settings when everyone is together, we revert directly back into the 7 and 8 year old versions of ourselves. This usually includes the necessity of at least one get-it-out-of-our- system fight that includes personal insults, threats of physical violence, crying , and then hugging and more crying when we make up. Christmas of 2007 (all three sisters were pregnant! watch out!) was a particularly memorable one. I think you’ll understand better the embarrassing behavior I speak of as it’s illustrated in the following account.

A few years ago we were both working at the University of Phoenix here in Provo. We were both in college… keep that in mind. It was fun but sadly our shifts only overlapped for a measly hour. One day we were delighted to know that all the employees had to go up to the corporate salt lake campus for a training seminar. We got to spend the day hanging out at “getting trained” and getting paid for it!

We were sitting around our table with 3 or 4 other employees. We had trusty notebooks in hand waiting to furiously scribble. I wanted to run to the bathroom before we started, but my time was short. I tried to stand up, only to have Vanessa with brut strength shove me back down by my thigh under the table. So I get about half way there and fall back into my chair. First time is kinda funny, so we sort of chuckle. I endeavor to rise again, and was yet again bounced back into my chair. I shot her an icy side glance, “Don’t,” (so only she can hear), and I politely smile at the fellow employees seated with us around our table. So I get up; lights are flickering on and off in preparation for the power point presentation, and much to my fury, I am slammed back down into my seat for a third time. This time was just too much. The rage broke loose inside of me. If I were Bruce Banner my eyes would have burned yellow, my skin turning green and I would have started ripping my clothes off in a frenzy as my body contorted. I reached under the table and gave her the look of death, while taking hold of the smallest portion of flesh that was available on her hand, and squeezed with all my might, “DON’T.” Her expression I’ll never forget. Her mouth gaped open in sudden horror, eyes saddened and immediately fillied with tears… she whispered, slowly and deliberately, “ouch….” All the while maintaining eye contact with me while her chin started to quiver. She rushed out of the room while starting to cry from the bitter sting of the ant bite that I had brutally inflicted, and I immediately followed her, suddenly bursting into tears myself from complete and utter remorse. I felt so bad. Oh sissy! I’m sorry I didn’t mean it! Please don’t cry!! I heard the words in my head. My feelings of regret were intense. Our time spent in the bathroom was a sob fest on both of our parts, (I still can’t think about the look on her face without getting a little misty) that quickly turned into a complete laugh attack that echoed between the stalls. We went back into the training, eyes red and puffy. I remember being glad that the lights were dim because I could not turn off the water works. Can you imagine someone we worked with asking us what was wrong and giving that explanation??

Can you believe that ridiculousness? Will we be doing the same things to each other when we are grandmas? I guess some things you never grow out of- she has always and will always taunt me and I in turn have always and must always torture her. Never were there such devoted sisters.

Thank heaven for little girls.

Last Friday she was 6 months old. She seems like she's getting so big to me but her weight is only in the 10th percentile! Itty bitty girl! The first one was taken when she was 10 days old. The second one was last Sunday. I can't even see her growing because I am watching it happen every single minute of every single day. It's pretty surreal. She makes us laugh and smile constantly. What a joy.

She doesn't take lip from bear like she used to. She man-handles him like nobody's business and then asks for more. She gets so worked up every time she wrestles bear. Not sure why he provokes such anger in her.

Here are some shots from Trent's first birthday party we went to last Friday. It's so hard getting Lucy to look at the camera but what's even more challenging is getting Jason to look at it, and not focus on the toy I am dangling up above! What an excellent Daddy he is.

We started her on rice cereal and she loves it. It's so fun to watch her. She is especially fat 'n happy in this second pic- just finished up- face of complete ecstasy.

We had little Harmony over for a play date the other day. She is 2 weeks Lucia's junior, and scoots around like a little worm! So so cute! It was so fun having her. They love each other. There was no nose gouging or hair pulling. Only lots of deep gazing into each others' eyes.



Look at Luc sitting in the background feeling all insecure about herself because she is not scooting yet... Poor little dear.

Attention homemakers!

So! I have been suffering a little bit from the January blues lately. Maybe because I am trapped inside wishing it was springtime now that the holidays are over with. Maybe it is because I am done with school now so I am transitioning into full time stay-at-home mom, and trying to figure out what that really means I'm supposed to do with my life.

I was on msn yesterday and found this article, entitled "The Happiness Habit." I want to focus primarily on the first item on the list because when I read it, it sounded like it could possibly solve all my problems!

Teaming up for chores. "In early America, barn raisings were feats of incredible productivity but also wonderful social occasions. Sue Merriman, 54, a landscape designer and full-time mom, has given the idea a modern twist. Every Wednesday she gets together with her friend Devra Laner, 47; sometimes another friend joins them.

The women alternate houses, and the host picks a task that's time-consuming, difficult to pull off alone, or just no fun—and therefore never gets done. Any project is allowed, although as Sue says, "At first, nobody thinks they can invite friends over to clean the grease out from under the
stove."

The women have done a lot of cleaning, organizing, and gardening in the past three years, but the work's been companionable instead of onerous—full of laughter and talk. "We wanted to be able to see each other and we had to get things done," Sue says. "So we decided to do both."

So who's with me!? Seriously, who!? Think we could really do something like this? Think we could get over our pride enough to let someone come help us clean and cook and garden and then turn around and go do the same thing at their house?? Could you let someone come and do your household chores with you and avoid picking up the house before their arrival? Could you avoid cleaning before you clean?

Along these same lines, as some of you know while I was pregnant I read a book called, The Continuum Concept. I was introduced to it in my infant psychology and development class. I was completely fascinated by it. "Jean Liedloff, an American writer, spent two and a half years deep in the South American jungle with Stone Age Indians. The experience demolished her Western preconceptions of how we should live and led her to a radically different view of what human nature really is. She offers a new understanding of how we have lost much of our natural well-being and shows us practical ways to regain it for our children and for ourselves." She feels in our society of intellectualism, indulgence and modern technological advances, we are overlooking our most fundamental needs. Sure, some of her theories may be a little out there for you... but others really strike a chord and feel true and right. At least for me.

One of the concepts that she touches on is the natural need for women to be among women. That originally, we were tight knitted communities that shared everything. She talks about the need to find our own "tribe" in modern day society, and that just because our culture is radically different than the group of people she studied; our most basic needs as human beings are not, and that our nature is not programmed for isolation. I do agree with her there. Read more here, this article is entitled, "Finding Your Tribe: Feed Your Soul while Feeding Your Kids." This stuff totally rivets me. Some good food for thought.

A little work a little play

We had another managers retreat at NorthStar this past weekend. Here are a few highlights. One big happy family. Good times indeed!

Lucy got a little bored in her carseat on the way up so we figured we'd put all those hours she's been spending on mariocart to the test. She is such a fast learner.

I love putting babies to sleep during Rockband tournaments! Must have heard "eye of the tiger" 12 times. It was pretty hilarious in all honesty.

Had to get a couple shots of this hulubaloo. So glad you made it Ash, even though you were on double baby duty. Poor little Anna wanted her mommy so bad. Ashley did great. Calm and collected. I was way impressed. There were even a couple instances that both babes were crying in perfect harmony.

What would a boys retreat be without a nice piledrive to the face or a punch to the face...

Side note- yes this is me in above photos. I was pretty much born on a snowmobile, no big deal. Actually... to tell you the truth I am the world's biggest wuss. Not just snowmobiles, but jet skis, ATVs, Jason's harley- pretty much any motorized vehicle- all scare me. I don't know... I feel like a Debbie Downer because I know it's "cool" to be into all that, and while I was dating I definitely did my fair share of pretending to be, but in reality I am just no thrill seeker. I am always shouting at Jason to slow down when we ride together, and of course he can't ever hear me over the motor, which inevitably leads to pinching and hitting as the form of communication I resort to. Successfully changing Lucy's diaper- with no changing pad underneath her... now that's what I call my kind of adrenaline rush. SO CRAZY!!

So do you not LOVE how much little people adore each other? Lucy could not get enough of this little Jaidyn- she was like cat nip to her... completely smitten with every move she made. She could do nothing wrong- everything she did was absolutely hilarious.

Thank you Jess and Ryan and everyone who helped out!

Awkward...

Figured I’d better write this one down before I forget it. So I am the queen of awkward experiences. I will admit it; I inadvertently bring most of them on myself. It’s been a strange masochistic phenomenon that has plagued me throughout my life while providing pleasant and entertaining memories for those in my company.

There is this jack-of-all-trades guy we have hired to do some things around the house. We’ll leave his name out of the story. He’s great- hard working, honest, really nice, good guy. He worked on our rain gutters when we first moved in and has done some other outside work. Probably early 40’s, single guy. So he was here on January 1st because we had some water leaking into the house somehow. He was working outside with Jason to thaw out an area on the roof that had some ice built up and they were coming in through the garage, filling up buckets with hot water. I was cleaning up the kitchen with Lucy in the sling, going about my merry duties. So wanting to make conversation, I turned to him and said, “Wow you must not have been out very late partying if you are here working this morning.”

Him: No, no I wasn’t. Even if I was, I don’t need much sleep. I only need about 4 or 5 hours.

By this time he and Jason had paused because I was making conversation, so the three of us were just standing there.

The pivotal moment in the conversation occurred subsequently. What I meant to say next was, “Well if that’s all the sleep you need that’s ideal for having a baby,” as in we’ve had a baby since you saw us last, and I’m much lower on sleep than I used to be… or that would be convenient if you were a dad… and you could let your wife sleep through the night… etc. However, what I said instead was, “Well if that’s all the sleep you need, that’s ideal for baby making.” They both just looked at me and he, with a puzzled expression said… “Well I’ll…have to find someone… who wants to do that with me…”

Another awkward pause. He then politely said, “I don’t really know how to respond to that without being crass.” And I just sorta obliviously nodded my head and smiled playing along but clearly did not catch the drift.

They went back outside. I was a little perplexed. I don’t know how to respond to that without being crass?? What was he talking about? What’s crass about being up in the night taking care of a baby? Weird.

Then it hit me with tremendous force. THAT’S IDEAL FOR BABY MAKING. What was my problem?!? Stupid stupid stupid! Did that actually come out of my mouth? If you don’t need a lot of sleep that’ll really be to your advantage for “making babies”??

I was horrified. There I was in my bathrobe. The pervy house wife. Jason came back in. psssst…. (rushing over to him and whispering) Did you hear what I just said to him?? “Baby making”???

Jason: Yeah… (chuckling) I was wondering…

Me: I’ve got to tell him what I meant to say! I’ve got to rectify this!

And very seriously he turned to me and responded, “No. Let it go. You’ll dig yourself even deeper. You just get out of sight for the rest of the time that he’s here! You’ve just got to avoid him!”

So I scurried back into my bedroom, closed the door, and sat quivering until he was gone- which was a good portion of the day I might add. Now I’m dreading the day he comes back to do something else around the house, and it’s a shame cuz I shouldn't dread it cuz I love that guy.

My greatest fear is that when he does come back, I will lose control of myself and try still to rectify this encounter, no matter how much time has passed. The words will just come spewing out of my mouth like hot lava… something like, “Remember when you came on new years day 6 months ago…” yada yada yada and maybe he won’t remember it and then I will create another very awkward experience by holding onto this brief inconsequential exchange between us for so long... and then I will feel creepier than ever.

Speaking of "baby making," I thought I'd tack on a few pics. She is so much fun. I miss her when she naps. I can't believe she is sitting up. :( I have my days when I think I'm ready for #2! Especially lately seeing these little newbies like Mr. Quinn Rammell and Miss Linzie Gwen. Will I ever stop wanting to have babies? Luckily I only sleep 5 hours a night or so... I guess that'll come in handy for when we want to make another.

New year... a new look?

Jason and I have been a little bored lately so we've been tossing around the idea of some plastic surgery. The possibilities really are endless.

I even talked my sister Vanessa into considering some options. I think the elongated chin on the right is particularly flattering on her. She's just always been missing something... turns out it's been the chin all along.

Creepy! So, so, so creepy. Nightmare style creepy.