What's the world coming to?!

So we had our second prenatal class last night, and I have to admit… I left feeling pretty chapped. Not only did I leave there chapped, I also was in need of a good cathartic cry before bed. It helped. Now I really am not one of those people who get all uptight about stuff, but lately, seems like lots of things have been really chapping me.

Let me set the scene for you. We are sitting there in class with about 30 people or so. The first hour of class we talk about epidurals, pitocin, episiotomies…all that thrilling stuff. I'm thinking not that big of a deal, useful and important information, and what’s his name from the back of the room is even holding down the fake laughing. So we take our little break and then the nurse says that she is going to take half the class on a tour of the hospital and the other half will stay and watch a video, and then we’d switch. It was our turn to watch the video first.

Don’t worry; it was only the most horrifically graphic birthing video I’ve ever seen in my life. Three births in fact. They showed EVERYTHING, up-close and personal. There were gasps and cries of terror among the mothers-to-be in that little room, and about half way through I just put my head down and felt the beads of sweat gathering on my forehead. Tears were shed, yes… but they were not tears of joy. They were tears of horror.

The nurse gets back to the room with the first group, and asks us in her all too chipper voice, “Do you have any questions before we take you on the tour?” There were a few questions from others about forceps and then my hand shot up into the air, I’m sorry but I couldn’t be contained. Jason, kinda joking but mostly serious, even tries to nervously hold my arm down…

“Yes?” she motioned to me, again all too chipper.

“This may be a strange question and I’m not trying to be rude… but what makes you think that showing these videos is a good idea? I mean, what’s the purpose, just to get the dads in the room ready for the gore? Cuz honestly if I’m about to go into a really gory and intense surgery the last thing I wanna do is watch the procedure on film right before it happens to me… Right now I’m about to throw up and pass out.”

There were quite a few chuckles throughout the room but I really wasn't trying to be funny. Worst part about it, the nurse had no idea what to say. She had NO logical explanation as to why ON EARTH these lovely practitioners, probably in every prenatal class around the country, submit us to that. She did however assert, as if I didn’t know already, that “you won’t see any of it when it’s happening to you.”
Yes, that’s actually one of my points. Why would I want to see a close up shot of that happening to another woman when I could have otherwise tried my best to stay ignorantly blissful of the wreckage going on to my body? I don’t want to see the blood and the other strange bodily fluids everywhere. I don’t want to hear to screaming and moaning. At another time in life, maybe I could watch it and think it’s beautiful. But not right now. It hits just a little too close to home right now.

I also think its kinda interesting how some guys (not my husband… we’ve already addressed the issue several times about the right and wrong things to say) think the right thing to say is, “Women have been having babies since the beginning of time… you’ll be fine!!” with a slap on the back. Really? Cuz thousands of men were castrated in the middle ages so they could keep their high pitched tenor voices… the fact that it happened to a lot of men brings you a lot of comfort at the thought of it happening to YOU, doesn’t it? Come on! Be a sport!! Men’s parts have been cut off for just years! Doesn’t that make you wanna just step right up in line?? Now I know that's not quite as natural of a process as child bearing.. ok not natural at all... but still. I think you catch my drift. Hubbies out there reading this blog (and I know there are a lot of you who are undercover blog readers) please please don't ever say that to your pregnant wife. Especially if it's her first.

Ok, I feel a little better after going on my rant. I’m just scared. I know it will all be worth it, truly I do. And crazy enough, I know I will willingly do it all again sometime in the not too distant future. I'm so excited to hold her in my arms. The thought just overwhelms me with glorious feelings! However, from where I stand right now in this ordeal, I am completely and utterly terrified! Is that okay?