Thoughts on Christmas

Forgive me for being more than a week late but we need to talk about Christmas. It was wonderful! We spent this year with Jason's family in South Jordan. Lucy was so much fun. She obviously had no idea what was going on but Christmas was just better because she was with us. So exciting to think about all the many years to come with many more little Lucias. ;)

Having a child sheds a whole new light on what Mary must have felt holding the tiny Savior in her arms for the first time, having an idea but perhaps not fully comprehending the magnitude of his role. Those wonderous feelings that only a new mother understands. I wish I could have been there to see the Lord of the universe wrapped in swaddling clothes as a tiny infant. What confidence Father in Heaven must have had in Mary, to entrust Jesus to her during His most tender and impressionable years. I know He was perfect... still, she had to have had an important influence on Him. What awe inspiring thoughts that Christmas provokes.

I have been thinking more deeply about the Savior's role lately. I can't begin to wrap my mind around all that He did for me personally, and for every person that has ever or will ever come to this earth. Sometimes my own incapacity to comprehend frustrates me so much. I'm so grateful for Him and for His perfect example and unconditional love.

On that note, kindof a randon tangent. We watched the movie, The Kite Runner the other night. I knew nothing about it before we watched it, only that it was originally a book, was made into a film, and won a bunch of awards. This post is not a "for" or "against" the movie, though I highly recommend looking into the content of it before opting to see it so you know what you are getting into. I was not prepared for it. It affected me in a way that completely took me off guard and I ended up bawling my eyes out during the movie, for a solid hour after it was finished, waking up again in the middle of the night not being able to go back to sleep because of it, and crying some more the next day because I couldn't stop thinking about it! It takes place mostly in Afganistan, and the movie reflect the historical events that have taken place there, from the invasion on communist Russia to the rise of the Taliban to power. The opression of the women and children portrayed was very disturbing. The abuse of the children was too much for me. I could not emotionally digest the film. It is movies like these that you wish so badly you could tell yourself, "this is only a movie," the way your parents did when you were little when the scary parts would come in the Disney movies. But you know you cannot say that. The film portrays too much reality of the brutality in the world yesterday and today and ineviteably in our future. To know that so many people in the world suffer in ways that I know I will never understand leaves me with a feeling of helplessness that I can't really describe. Not only is it deeply humbling to me, but it also makes me feel guilty and spoiled and unworthy and so many other emotions. Especially when I find myself complaining about the laundry I have to do or when Lucy has a hard nights sleep.

It boggles my mind to know that the Savior suffered for each and every of the many sins and imperfections in my life. Not only my sins but whatever heartache of any kind I may be called upon to pass through. I know that these things are true. However, it is an entirely separate world of thought to know that He took upon himself the suffering of all mankind, each and every individual of the human family, no matter how great the suffering. Every heinous act of injustice and hate. This I truly cannot comprehend though I want to so badly. He did this so that one day, all will be made right for all of Heavenly Father's children. He knows deeply and personally all suffering and sadness and knows how to comfort us. All that is unjust will be justified through His perfect blood. How this is possible I do not know. I only know the burning in my heart that tells me it is true and this is the only thing that really provides me comfort. He must weep when little children are hurt. It must break His heart to see the wickedness that is ever so prevelant in this world.

Christmas is my favorite because there is more thought and talk about the Savior. One of the more meaningful gifts that Jason gave to me for Christmas was a book entitled, Broken Things to Mend by Jeffery R. Holland of the quorum of the twelve. Elder Holland gave a talk in Conference with this same title, bearing testimony of the cleansing, elevating and saving role of Jesus Christ. You can read it here. I absolutely love it and have read it several times. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the Redeemer Jesus Christ. I know He will mend all that is broken. The most tender feelings in my heart are set aside for Him, for my husband and for my Lucia. I'm so grateful He came to this earth. How grateful I am to know Him.